Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Alicia's eyes reflected her graceful profile, delicate jaw, and gentle eyebrows. There was almost no trace of the ruthless coldness from before. Only the opening and closing of the corners of her lips remained. She tilted her head back, sighing about something.

"after all……"

“We all live in a moment.”

“We are waiting for countless moments, they are chaotic, some beautiful, some shocking, some sad, and thus they piece together our life.”

……

A very wonderful metaphor. .jpg

PS: It is coming to an end, and it will end in a few chapters, and it will be in a very bleak way.

Chapter of Stars and Moon: 135. Please Love Lishia

[Through this period of travel, revisiting past experiences decades later, you have, in a sense, confirmed one thing.]

[——Perhaps Alicia really doesn’t need you. ]

[This is indeed too absolute. It is a bit too radical to draw such a conclusion directly. Strictly speaking, Jiang Cheng has never been the one who is not needed. The one who is not needed is just the fake you at this moment.]

[For a perfect and pure fairy, what she expects and hopes for is definitely not the current imperfections, and definitely not irreparable waste. ]

[Everything that Alicia has done to revive you, the hardships that you can't even imagine, can't be erased, and shouldn't be erased. ]

[The word resurrection has never been so simple. It is not only a miracle that exists only in the imagination of ordinary people, but even for the Herrscher who is the messenger of God and even worshipped as a god by some fools, resurrection is an unattainable and unimaginable miracle.]

[Rubbing a black hole with your hands to control gravity, gravity, and resurrecting others are all powers that are like those of gods to ordinary people. These two cannot be simply confused. Even if they are both gods, there will be differences. ]

【powerful.】

【weak.】

【No mercy.】

【No mercy.】

【So cold.】

[At least until now, even if you vaguely feel that you seem to have reached a limit and have surpassed ordinary Herrschers, and that as long as you take one more step forward, you will seem to step into a new height like a butterfly, it is completely unattainable and you cannot see the possibility of reviving life.]

[There is no room for buffer, no possibility of crossing, and even how to climb up is something that is not allowed to be understood. ]

[This world has always been so black and white, not even giving any trace of gray to stay. The only person who can be deceived by the edge created by humans is oneself.]

[Just like incompleteness, the incompleteness of petals, leaves, and even branches does not matter. Time and life will make up for all of this. These so-called incompleteness and trauma are essentially just some superficial injuries.]

What if the injured part is the root?

【What if the missing part is the stem? 】

[No matter how strong and tenacious the trees, flowers and grass are, all they can do is to continue living with this imperfection.]

[Perhaps they can continue to live, perhaps they can live like ordinary flowers, plants and trees, and their incomplete nature has long existed in their roots. People who don’t know and understand them may continue to point at them, sigh and praise them, and publish one self-righteous description after another, just like praising their peers who have no pain to speak of.]

[But in the eyes of those who are truly familiar with it, this disability is clearly visible, and they can see through the constraints of the soil and see the loss buried deep under the soil. ]

【Deception.】

【It is always built on people who don’t understand each other. 】

[Just as you can clearly see the sadness hidden under Alicia's apparent joy. ]

[Perhaps for her, this journey was half-hearted from the beginning, having lost the past colors and grand half-hearted scenery, half-hearted flowers, half-hearted sunsets, and the most half-hearted you.]

[The roads were destroyed and eroded, and burned to ashes by the Herrscher, leaving only dust everywhere. Even the mountains were damaged by the air for dozens of meters. All the flowers turned to ashes, and all the lakes, cliffs, and waterfalls turned into pits.]

[There is no sunset, no sunrise, and you need to tear apart the clouds to bring a ray of light. Even you, the most important partner, are disabled. ]

[I really can't find a normal version anywhere. This is a complete and utterly beggar's version. This journey is incomplete from beginning to end.]

[This was originally an inappropriate and untimely request from you. You wanted to save the girl out of selfishness. If you can't even make Alicia happy, it's questionable whether you should continue now.]

[Option 1: You should continue to work hard at playing yourself. As long as you become more skilled, one day Alicia won't be able to recognize you.]

[Option 2: You decide to avoid this question. For a person who doesn't even have complete emotions, asking him to think about important things and make important decisions with only one chance, don't you think this behavior is too much? ]

[Option 3: It has become too bloated now. It shouldn't exist. If it can't even bring happiness to Alicia, staying here will only make the mess worse.]

……

"It has come to this. I have already died once, and the truth has been exposed once. Is there really any choice left?"

"People without emotions can certainly avoid making choices, but I am not without emotions."

"—Option three."

Jiang Cheng's answer was given in the first instant, tapping lightly in the air, without any extra words, without any extra thoughts, and without the need to do anything more. It was tedious and essentially meaningless.

I have been dead for a long time, and now there is only a rut of years left behind. How long can I delay by relying on this inertia?

The bubbles can reflect colorful light under the midday light. Even if they disappear, the bubble water reflecting the light will be left behind. Those are the colors that belong only to the rainbow. You can even taste the sweetness of candy if you lick it.

But this temporary sweetness is poisonous, and the price is everything in the future, which will eventually evaporate like a rainbow under the scorching sun.

If he continued like this, even Jiang Cheng felt a suffocating fatigue.

It's too long.

It is countless times longer than an ordinary person’s life.

This simulation has become both brutal and long.

With one cut after another, the body was stripped clean of flesh, even the bones were scraped clean, leaving only the marrow hidden inside.

……

【At least reach your own ending with your own will. 】

"Dear Alicia..."

"Excuse me……"

"——Can you hold another birthday party for me?"

On the barren hillside where the touch of fingertips to the ground would be stained with charred dust, in the gradually darkening dusk that was somewhat turbid, blurry and ambiguous, while Alicia gently bit her teeth and rubbed her teeth together, hiding all her sadness with the little movement of torturing her lips.

The black-haired boy raised the corners of his mouth with a smile, stretched out his finger towards the fairy who was close at hand, and made a shocking invitation.

At first, Alicia couldn't understand.

At this moment, time seemed to have stopped, as if the boy had just created a huge black hole, making everything in the world become extremely slow.

There was a constant buzzing sound in my ears, and everything was rewinding and suddenly moving away. Even the light of the setting sun became blurry, too blurry, leaving only haziness, and I couldn't even find a focus in my sight.

silence.

silence

There is only silence.

Until the thoughts finally have nowhere to hide, no way to escape, and are about to be found by the light in the darkest cracks, and are pulled out of the darkness in full view.

The echo from the young man's voice finally reached the bottom of the abyss, a deep sea surrounded by endless sea water where even breathing was impossible.

It was as if a thunder exploded above the girl's head. She stood there in a daze like a piece of wood. Her beautiful cherry-pink eyes showed a trace of confusion and helplessness. Her breath was trembling.

Jiangcheng to me...

——Invitations to a birthday party were sent out.

……

"what……"

"what……"

"what……"

"Birthday party..."

She couldn't even breathe smoothly, as if her throat was blocked by layers of barriers. The girl's lips gently uttered those most familiar yet unfamiliar words, her delicate tone seemed to have forgotten even the letters.

It is clearly the most common thing in daily life, it is clearly a day that deserves to be celebrated and crowned with beautiful colors, but even the pronunciation is particularly unfamiliar.

Because this is the root of all evil.

Because this is the beginning of all tragedy.

Because this is the greatest and most wrong evil ever created by a person called Alicia.

Even the mention of these words made them feel terrified, and even when the boy had lost his memory and knew nothing, they did not dare to hold any birthday party.

If he still had amnesia and knew nothing, the girl would at most think that it was a sudden whim of the boy. She would just instinctively feel a little scared and use sweet words to cover up her escape.

And now, after knowing everything that happened in the past, Jiang Cheng still chose to reach out and extend an invitation to me in the afterglow of the setting sun.

This definitely does not mean that it is out of ignorance or stupidity, but because of a lack of understanding of the truth, one can act ignorantly and bravely.

It can represent and also can represent only one meaning.

——Atonement.

……

A look of shock and confusion appeared on her face, all the way to the roots of her straight pink hair which were still fluttering in the breeze. Her dreamy eyes like cherry blossoms were flashing with an unstoppable fear and inexplicable confusion.

She wanted to scream out, she wanted to vent, she wanted to get off her seat, she wanted to jump off the mountain, she even wanted to fly to the moon in one breath.

However, she couldn't do any of these.

In the end, all she could do was raise her delicate head and look up at the boy's outstretched fingertips. Her delicate body trembled slightly, and shock welled up in her eyes.

"real……"

"really?"

"Is it true that a guy like me can host a birthday party for you?"

"I've done so many wrong things, and it's clear that our initial separation was due to my stupidity. Am I really worthy of you now?"

The girl's voice was filled with shock and a certain degree of incomprehension and helplessness, and even the remaining notes of the tone were trembling.

Alicia couldn't believe that she was given the opportunity to atone her sins so easily. She couldn't believe that the young man who already knew everything was willing to give her another chance and take the initiative to open her wounds to get the possibility of filling them.

It is not just a verbal acknowledgment, nor is it the forgiveness expressed in words, nor is it the gentle tenderness contained in the slightly raised corners of the lips.

Repent through practical actions.

To truly make up for past mistakes with facts and existing things.

The flawless pink color became a little blurry, and some of the crystals reflected the only remaining light in the sky, making the eyes more clear and transparent.

In every dark night, regret will come to the little heart before everything else. Before it is covered with bruises and can still cry, it is necessary to wash the quilt that you secretly pulled to cry last night.

Even now, this dampness, which lasts longer than any disease in the world, cannot be dried by the false, photo-only sun.

Instead, I would hold the thin photos and reminisce about them countless times, and the bitter tears would well up again, wetting the already damp quilt even more thoroughly.

nature……

This is nothing to worry about.

This is nothing to be afraid of.

The girl knows that her mistakes will be forgiven, that the existence of a long period of time can wear away most of the emotions and memories in the world, and that the boy who has lost a lot of his self is a toy that completely belongs to her.

But the fairy, who will never forget and whose emotions will never be blurred by time, still shed tears for the mistake she could never change.

——Mistakes that cannot be corrected are so cold and despairing.

The despair penetrated deep into her bones, the despair repeatedly seeped into her skin, the despair even strangled her throat, making it difficult for her to breathe, tearing apart all her flesh, raging in her heart, destroying every nerve and blood vessel. The despair was like an animal that had finally survived the long winter of hibernation and collapsed on the night before the arrival of spring.

Fairies have always been beings with delicate emotions, and it is precisely because they can better appreciate the beauty around them, the love and emotions of others that they appear kind.

The memory of a Herrscher is almost eternal. Important things will not disappear until the day of his death, but the scars will never be blurred.

In a sense, this is the most desperate curse in the world, the loss of the most important ability of human beings to protect themselves, the ability to forget.

The same is true for Jiang Cheng, who became a Herrscher. He lost his emotions, but retained almost all the parts related to the girl. The sadness of the banquet was natural, and he never mentioned the hidden dangers of the past during this journey.

If you choose to forgive unconditionally, then the best way is to never mention past mistakes. The girl almost inadvertently acquiesced and accepted the development of all this and accepted that there was no possibility of atonement for herself.

however……