Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

But obviously.

No chance now.

Although not many people know about it now, the girl witnessed the whole process of preparing for her death with her own eyes.

There is no time left in this world.

From the corner of his eye, the young man had seen that the palace was gradually being "submerged" - sticky, viscous... In short, the sea that had nothing to do with normal sea water had gradually penetrated into this world.

He could feel that a wall farther away had already collapsed, and then like a falling domino, all the walls were swallowed up.

The faint power that had lingered around a small piece of land with his footsteps had already penetrated here. Because his own weakness and inability to suppress it had reached a critical point, it began to display its destructive power unscrupulously.

This deal and this wish itself are not normal. How can I, who was resurrected as a Herrscher and an individual who brought disaster upon himself, bring happiness?

How could Alicia, who pursues perfection and innocence, accept that her lover was resurrected in an incomplete form, without even any feelings for him?

Perhaps the original lie contained some of these elements, deceiving oneself in order to force oneself to accept the flaws and imperfections of one's lover.

If Jiang Cheng knew this from the beginning, he would have committed suicide without hesitation to avoid bringing tragedy upon himself and leaving behind memories that would worry the girl. At least death at that time would have been the simplest and easiest.

Because in the eyes of the girl at that time, his resurrection was not successful at all, and naturally there was no need for her to face the sadness of her own death again.

But when you realize that you are the one who is not expected, the lie has been exposed, and the journey has reached the halfway point.

this period.

The sudden departure would only make the girl feel more regretful.

No matter what exquisite way of death she uses, it will only make the girl hate the person who caused her death, and hate herself for being powerless again. She can only live alone in this cruel world with regret forever.

The cruelty and despair would even completely make it impossible to make amends, because it would be impossible for Alicia to be resurrected after she committed suicide again.

and so……

He decided to at least complete this trip.

At least make up for all the regrets you may have had in the past.

If you can't leave before you have built memories, then you can only leave after the memories have been built and without any regrets.

Although now it seems that both options are equally bad.

It would be better if I didn't resurrect at all.

But heaven and hell themselves have only the obligation to be chosen.

——He has no right to choose.

I originally wanted the last leg of the journey to make the girl happier and more precious, at least as a reward for her hard work for so long.

In the end...

Still can't do anything.

……

"Alicia."

Jiang Cheng called out the girl's name softly, as if across the quietness of the sea. When he opened his eyes again, they were no longer as kind as before.

The dark blue pupils had lost all their disguised light at this moment. They were as cold as celestial bodies, examining the world mercilessly. The eyes were filled with mist and even made the girl tremble unconsciously when she raised her head.

"You actually..."

"You're not expecting that much from me, are you?"

……

For the first time, embarrassment appeared on her delicate and lovely face. The slight blush on her jade-like skin and swan neck was not the eyes that were staring at her lover. The girl's pupils were trembling slightly without her noticing, and the dreamy pink edges were flashing with an unexpected brilliance.

Do not……

no……

No no ...

I never hated you!

I really didn’t expect you at all!!

From the moment I was born, I have been yearning for you, for Jiang...

The brain is buzzing, reason is echoing, thoughts are constantly reeling, and the inappropriate chaos instantly takes away all the rational parts.

She even seemed to have forgotten that the boy was on the verge of death, and she bit her lips subconsciously just to refute, until Alicia suddenly realized that the pair of eyes were so close to her that they could even reflect her face.

"—When you're with me, you're clearly sad."

"—because I'm not the perfect person you remember."

"You don't need to be so sad. I'm not completely Jiang Cheng. Don't you realize this? Why are you still sad?"

……

The sound is stuck.

It was like pinching the white swan's neck tightly, trying to break the delicate throat, and the pitiful smile and cry were interrupted in an instant.

Thinking is also stuck.

Even the untimely chaos seemed to be smashed into pieces by a sudden huge hammer, and what was left was dust that could not even be called fragments.

yes……

Have you really never hated yourself?

Have you really never been dissatisfied with this imperfection?

Some forgotten memories, instinctive fears and abandoned memories deep in memory were evoked by the boy's cold words and unconsciously rushed to his mind again.

Didn't she want to sacrifice herself before and wanted to complete the boy's essence because she couldn't accept and admit that the person in front of her who could only repeat herself and forgive herself was the complete Jiang Cheng?

If she could really accept everything calmly, and if she really didn't have the slightest denial in her heart about Jiang Cheng's situation due to her own selfishness, there would be no such thing as sacrifice. Even this journey wouldn't have happened. She would just continue to return to the town with the boy after an apology, put the lies and the past behind them, and live a peaceful and happy life.

Even now we can seem to be able to stay together comfortably.

Even though we can travel together seemingly peacefully now.

Isn't it because he realized that he had no choice, and under Jiang Cheng's gentle smile he had no ability to choose at all?

No matter what kind of will and awareness a person has, no matter how long he toss and turn in bed, he will lose it in an instant under the warm embrace.

All the courage, will... the broken heart could not afford any decent resistance, and it leaked out through the fingers uncontrollably.

However, during this journey, Alicia chose to deceive herself every time, to forget herself, to hide everything in her heart, as if in this way she would not have to face the cruel reality and endure the wind and rain.

However, no matter how strong and durable the protective cover is, it has a service life after all, and no matter how tough the rock is, it will be riddled with holes under the erosion of wind.

Dreams are always dreams, and what is false is ultimately false. The world will not stop functioning just because you bury your head in the sand like an ostrich to try to cover your ears and steal the bell.

just now.

It’s time to wake up from the dream.

——The girl collapsed instantly, her whole body trembling. Even the energy to repair her wounds became weak. She fell limply on the boy’s chest. The false light in her pupils was shattered, and she was faced with the cold reality once again.

miserable.

sorrow.

Pitiful.

This pitiful and delicate posture makes everyone in the world feel sad. The flowers will be wrinkled the moment they encounter wind and rain.

……

Are you so sad?

Are you still sad even after being pointed out?

It seems that we are not traveling together just because we are still deceiving ourselves.

and so……

Did the method of diverting the sadness by pointing out the truth and making the girl realize what she had been thinking all along fail in the end?

Compared to my incompleteness, compared to the emotions hidden in my heart being stirred up, is it more difficult for Alicia to accept witnessing me leave again with her own eyes?

A complete life is indeed very complicated.

I still can't understand this contradiction and entanglement.

Hateful yet inseparable, sad because of my existence and sad because of my departure, no matter what the result is, it will only bring negativity.

This fairy-like girl is truly an existence that is completely superior to humans.

Even if I were a normal person, even if I were the perfect me, I would probably find it difficult to keep up with this lively, delicate and sensitive heart and chase its every move.

Jiang Cheng sighed deeply, his eyebrows drooped, as if he was sad about another wrong guess. He pulled the girl's hand away from his body, and the authority of the Herrscher of the Stars bloomed at his fingertips.

"I'm sorry, I hurt your heart again. I should have promised you that I would always be by your side, but I still broke my promise."

"Originally I wanted to secretly end this life without your knowledge, which should not have existed in the first place and would only bring you pain."

"I didn't expect that this sadness and happiness are actually mixed together, and involving any one of them will hurt the whole."

"In the end, I, a negative number that is even worse than zero for ordinary people, didn't accomplish anything."

"At least before it's over, please stop being sad."

He bit the corner of his mouth, and his sharp teeth gently pulled his lower lip back, in this way creating a smile on his weak body.

The dark blue pupils in the night were gazing at the girl so close at hand, as if they wanted to carve her image and reflect that dreamy pink in the flawless starry sky.

"—You have tried very hard."

"——You've done well enough."

You have fought against many Herrschers, built your own paradise in the small town, and even resurrected the person you love most.

No matter how imperfect this resurrection is, no matter how false this resurrection is, it is something that countless people dare not even take the first step towards.

You have done good enough.

"Now……"

“Please don’t stand still.”

"Go embrace your life."

"Go find your paradise."

……

Chapter of Stars and Moon: 141. Alicia: Paradise... Where is the paradise?!

In fact, he is not very good at comforting others, nor is he good at chatting. Perhaps it is because the only companion he could communicate with when he was a child was Alicia, and after Alicia turned five, there was no room for communication.

No matter how I open my mouth, I will be rejected, as if the memory of walking hand in hand on the streets of the small town in the past was just a dream.

Lying in the swimming pool with your eyes open, watching the warm yellow light diffuse and penetrate the water, is just a daydream of a person falling asleep by the pool.

While I was reading, Alysia was lying quietly beside me. Perhaps she was not looking at me at all, but was just doing something else.

He could only lie on the back of the wall, half of his face exposed, and quietly watch the girl chatting and playing with other children in the town and passers-by.

I couldn't go up to them, couldn't invite them, because I would be rejected by acting cute anyway… The only thing I could do was to watch it all, taking in their happiness, tightly, not refusing to relax even for a moment.

It seemed that only by watching in this way could he become one of them, share their happiness, and have fun together.

All the words, all the feelings can only be swallowed into one's stomach, mouthful after mouthful, again and again, until the day when one grows up.

Even when traveling, the girl is always surrounded by fans and supporters, chatting with them on the phone or cheering at birthday parties.

Apart from what was recorded in Weiwei's diary, it seemed that he had chatted with her once, but he had never found anyone with whom he could confide.

In this situation where there is no chance to say anything.

Don't like to talk.

Not good at chatting.

It is also an inevitable thing.