Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

……

Ah… the unjust, let him be unjust still. The filthy, let him be filthy still. The righteous, let him be righteous still. The holy, let him be holy still. Behold, I am coming soon. My reward is with me, to give to each one according to his works. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may enter the city through the gates.

On that day the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be melted by fire, and the earth and everything on it will be burned up.

……

[At the age of thirty-six, you wander alone on the earth, following the footsteps of you and the boy in the barren wasteland, repeating the same cycle over and over again.]

[Thoughts do not exist, emotions do not exist, love does not exist, hate does not exist, anger does not exist, loss does not exist, and sadness does not exist either. ]

[This is pure walking, pure stepping, or even not walking, just being blown by the wind and forced forward like a tattered kite.]

[It is at this moment that you seem to have reached the state you once expected the most, complete disillusionment, the numbness of losing all self and hope. ]

[You have always been a star of disaster that can only destroy and bring disaster. No matter what you do, whether you choose or not, whether you hesitate or not, whether you have the power or not, the ending will always be a tragedy.]

【Then just give up thinking. 】

【Then just give up the behavior. 】

[As long as there is no subjective motivation and as long as you do not disturb others, then there will be no disaster and you will never hurt others again. ]

【Thirty-seven years old...】

【Thirty-eight years old...】

【Thirty-nine years old...】

[You don't know how many days have passed. The passage of time is an abstract concept. Humans cannot feel the passage of time. They can only judge whether a period of time has passed by referring to objects.]

[The reference object can be the sun and the moon, the building, or your own aging body... Everything has no meaning here, including the clouds that block out the sun, the barren land, and you who will never die or grow old.]

[All you know is that as time goes by, everything you and the boy have walked through has become a complete ruin. There is not even a trace of human habitation left. Even the majestic mountains will eventually collapse and be crushed into ravines.]

[All the love, sadness and anger are meaningless, everything is empty, and there is no one to support your emotions anymore. ]

[The great changes in the world have turned the few wonders in the world into wasteland. There is no natural beauty on this planet anymore.]

[The only thing that remains unchanged in this broken world is you, still as perfect as before, even more perfect than before in a sense. Your power has increased nearly tenfold under vague judgment.]

[But now this posture has long become the most powerful tool to mock you, because only poisonous mushrooms can grow bright and colorful. ]

[——In order to attract others.]

【——In order to poison others. 】

[You are far away from the world, far away from civilization, wandering endlessly without any subjectivity, using a body that will never be hungry, never need to go to the toilet, and never need ordinary human life-sustaining behaviors.]

[It was Jiang Cheng who brought you from the wilderness into the human world. Apart from him, you have never gotten to know anyone deeply in your life.]

[After losing your only boy, you also lost all your anchors and all your connections with the world.]

[The trees on the back hill have long since dried up, and there will no longer be any golden flowers. The wind has also died down, and the hand that gently reached out from the willow branches in the quiet and deserted woodland, which belonged to the young man, has long since disappeared.]

[The boy is like a thread, connecting you to the world. As long as Jiangcheng exists, no matter how different you are, no matter how bad and heavy your identity is, you are still a member of the human world. There are still people in the human world and civilization who care about you and miss you.]

【You have lost it all.】

[You have already lost Jiangcheng. ]

[It's like a kite with its string cut. There's not even the ethereal storm, and it can't even fly freely with the wind.]

[You can only feel the insignificant cyclones lifting your wings one after another, giving you a little power, but it still can't make you fly. ]

[It would be better to just pierce your wings and let yourself fall, no matter if there is a quagmire, an abyss, or an endless ocean under your feet. ]

[At least being completely numb is equivalent to death, which is much better than living forever in pain... There is nothing in the world that you care about anymore.]

[The time of suppression and piercing will not be too long, because if you lose even the goal of saving Jiangcheng, your existence will be completely meaningless. ]

[You can no longer try to revive Jiang Cheng, because he committed suicide. It's like stabbing a chainsaw into your heart, running it at full power with rusty stains, and in the end, only a pile of meat sauce is left, and you can't even put it together.]

[Until you no longer need to restrain yourself and can give up all thoughts, until you have completely become a walking corpse and fallen into madness. ]

[I don’t know how long it has been, time has long become meaningless. One day, when you were walking on a small hill that you had walked thousands of times, a half-meter-long piece of paper floated down from the sky.]

[It fell apart as it flew through the air, becoming very scattered, and turned into hundreds of messy pieces that looked no different from paper except for their appearance.]

[It took you more than ten minutes to realize what it was because you were too isolated from the world. 】

【——It’s a newspaper.】

[One of the products of the old era, it was once a platform for spreading news, but has long been eliminated due to its low efficiency in the evolution of the times. ]

[Theoretically, it has already been buried in ruins. In this damaged world, even collectors cannot support using their power for such a thing.]

[But this newspaper, which was blown by the wind, looked fresh as if it had just come off the printing press, and was not even soaked by energy pollution.]

[I don't know what material this product is made of, or whether the Honkai energy in this place is already stable compared to the world. ]

[It doesn’t matter…]

【It was just a coincidence. 】

【Everything has nothing to do with you anymore.】

[Your connection with the world has been severed. The wonderful things in the human world have nothing to do with you. They are so far away that they are untouchable.]

[Whether a kite that has lost its string will fall into a trash can or not, it will eventually cross out from the sky. It will never fly freely again, and will never have the chance to sway in the wind among the clouds again.]

[But I don’t know why, I don’t know what kind of mentality it was, maybe there was still a little bit of self, or maybe it was just a gust of wind that blew away a corner of the newspaper, you unconsciously looked over there for a second time, and looked at the product of the world with your own eyes again. ]

[A famous scientist who died young turned out to be a Herrscher of the Stars. A large number of people cursed and spontaneously tore up all related portraits. The relevant statues have been demolished. ]

[There is a Herrscher in the hidden town. The monster with the power to control fire has been imprisoned, and the dead warriors living in the town have all been wiped out. ]

[Relying on the technology of the former Herrscher of the Stars, the town has been completely cleared. Please rest assured, no monster will be left behind in the world. ]

[The eleventh Ruler has arrived. All thirteen cities in Australia have been destroyed. The hope of mankind and the last leader, Dr. Mobius, has died. Please all who see this message mourn for her.]

[The Seventh Key of God, the Star Sea Harmony, has been manufactured. As the legacy of Dr. Mobius, this Key of God may bring hope to mankind.]

[This newspaper seems to be pieced together, and each event is messy, with only a few dates and corresponding reports. ]

[You turn to the back and see another line of small words on it.]

[The remaining three cities have all been destroyed, humanity is on the verge of extinction, and there are only 10,000 people left in this base. If there are any remaining bases in the world, please make a call immediately and establish a connection with us.]

【ah……】

[The heart is twitching with pain, as if there is a chainsaw constantly cutting around it, and the moment it is pulled out, the barbs will cause secondary damage, and you may even feel as if your body is about to collapse.]

[You open your mouth empty-handedly, but you don't know what to say, let alone what you can say. This is an instinctive and meaningless action.]

[I can’t even talk about the pain, maybe because I’ve already gotten used to it. 】

[For some reason, there is a feeling in your heart. ]

【seem……】

【You have lost everything.】

【…】

【…】

【…】

[——Simulation ends.]

"what……"

"what?"

original……

Is Jiang Cheng preparing the birthday party just for this?

Is it just to make up for my past mistakes and then choose to leave this world?

The girl sat there blankly, unable to see anything in her pale blue eyes, unable to reflect any light anymore, her hand holding the coffee spoon kept shaking, as if she couldn't accept this ending.

Compared to the disaster that is destined from the beginning, the truly terrifying thing is the darkness after hope is shattered. Falling on the ground may indeed be painful, but the truly terrifying thing is often climbing up step by step to a higher place and then falling completely.

Obviously it had a good ending before.

Obviously, he has been resurrected successfully!

The birthday party has ended successfully. All the regrets of the past have been made up, and I have given the last gift to Jiang Cheng.

Why……

Why did it suddenly become like this?!

why?

why!

Why can't I do anything?

Why does everything you do always lead to ultimate sorrow?

Why every choice is wrong.

It has to end at the very last moment, when moving towards the best possible outcome, when hope rises again and the kite of desire is swept towards the sky by the wind called happiness.

what……

what……

Ah!

——Because of me!

——The initial wrong choice was made by me!

The beginning, which set the tragic tone for the whole story, was written hand in hand with me. It was me who destroyed hope, it was me who pushed away the boy who loved me, it was me who made mistakes over and over again, showing my badness and ugliness over and over again, and piling up the tragedy to the present irreversible point.

Jiangcheng...

He cared about me till the very end.

This birthday party was held so that I can move forward with peace of mind.

I think I have done a great job, I think I have worked very hard, I think I should not stay in the past but should run forward with big strides.

--How can it be?

——How is that possible!

A person named Alicia has been stuck in the past from the beginning, and the story in which she played the villain has long been declared over.

My heart is bleeding, as if it is the cry of my self, the last sound before complete destruction, and the depths of my soul are melting into bubbles bit by bit.

Alicia felt as if something in her heart had collapsed, as if something fundamental, something that even constituted her entire individual, had been shattered and destroyed.

It has no meaning anymore.

I still remember that the day when the girl and Jiang Cheng first met was a nice morning. The sunlight was shining in and the dark clouds in the sky had just dispersed. The clouds illuminated by the morning light had a transparent texture like glass.

The ash forest in season blocks some of the sunlight with countless overlapping branches, allowing the remaining light to shine on the ground like millions of lights on a stage. The thick fallen leaves have covered the soil, and stepping on it feels like walking on a velvet carpet.

At the top of the mountain, under the tallest tree, he lay there and uttered the first cry since coming into the world, as if waiting for someone to rescue him. But when he began to feel sleepy and tired, no one would step into the quiet forest to waste the beautiful morning light.

If one continues to lie alone under the shade of a tree, with no one responding no matter how hard one cries, even if one is not harmed by passing animals, one's first impression of the world in exhaustion will be one that is somewhat cruel.

Until a pair of tender hands gently lifted a wisp of drooping treetops, pushed aside the leaves that blocked the view, and walked leisurely out from the depths of the dense forest.

——Jiangcheng.

The gentle spring breeze blew the corners of his clothes, and his untrimmed hair was lifted up tirelessly. The new buds of the ash tree and the flowers that were about to bloom seemed to embellish this moment. On his tender face, those eyes that had not yet been polluted by the collapse, had not yet been fatigued by the constant disasters, and had lost the brilliance of youth, were like the night sky, reflecting beauty and happiness, as if he had seen the expectation of a treasure.

……

PS: This simulation is finally over. It has carried out the plot of persecuting Ai Li from beginning to end, in all aspects and at various levels... She has become a little mermaid who turns into bubbles when she touches the sun, and she doesn't even have the ability to look at the sun. When I first started writing it, I didn't expect that she would be persecuted so badly. It seems that I have to find a way to give Ai Lishia some psychological counseling, otherwise the Shura field will be missing one person in advance.

This is a repetition of hurt. The complete heart is pierced, broken, and shattered into slag, without even a large piece left. Even the little that is left will be crushed into dust... When I see Jiang Cheng again, I am afraid the only thing I can do is to get up.

Chapter of Stars and Moon: Ending Remarks

The first simulation was successfully completed, although there were many problems in the middle due to my poor performance, including but not limited to being a bit watery, poor writing, and average plot... At least I did write it to the end. I always feel that mine should be the longest simulation I've ever written, even longer than the main text of many people.

This book is essentially a slow-burner, and a very slow-burner. It is indeed not a good idea to read it slowly. Now that the first simulation is finished, you can try to read it all in one go. This will provide a better viewing experience than reading it slowly.