Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

"Hiss—" She bit her lip again, but this time it was not because of shock, but because of the cold. She lowered her head and saw that the ice cream had melted a little and dripped onto the ground. When the wind blew, it turned into ice and she could hardly feel it when she stepped on it.

"Has it melted?" Jiang Cheng looked at the ice cream in his hand. It didn't seem to melt at all, and it was still sharp and angular. He chose to hand over his own ice cream. "You can eat mine. Don't worry, I haven't licked it yet."

……

Actually, I don’t care...

If it's yours.

It doesn't matter even if you lick them all.

Unfortunately, these are just perverted words that can only flow silently in my heart and cannot be confided to others. All I can do is to maintain the demeanor of a young lady.

It is obvious that the elegance of a young lady is what has kept her going until now. Even when she was hated and loathed by the entire class, the entire city, and the entire world at the same time, it was simply no longer used, not completely lost.

Obviously, even if something like this is thrown away, the life of the previous ten years cannot be completely abandoned so easily. At least it will take something similar to it, or at least a slightly longer period of time to do it.

It should be like this.

The theory is correct.

However, in the short time she met the boy, the elegance deeply buried in her heart changed qualitatively, was trampled upon, and turned into a perversion.

It is very difficult to understand oneself. Even if the girl herself has experienced such a thing, it is difficult for her to know her own nature.

For those who are aware of what kind of person they are, even if they cannot change their goals in the end, their subsequent actions will surely be better than those of a headless fly.

People who essentially live for others have no true self. All their inner and outer expressions are just to pursue the gaze of others and the favor of others. Their inner self will become what others like and what can attract others' attention.

……

Reality Chapter: When the thunder breaks the sky: 186. Raiden Mei, you are not wrong at all.

For the sake of her father, she can become a top student who always gets first place in every exam; for the sake of a slightly willful, unruly and arrogant girl, she can transform herself into a gentle senior who is good at housework and has been brought up by a useless person.

In order to pursue the girl he must pursue, he is unwilling to be abandoned by the light that saves him, unwilling to watch Kiana get bruised all over her body while he does not even have the ability to move forward side by side. He embraces his own weakness and transforms himself into a complete Herrscher of Thunder.

——'I will fall into darkness so that you can return to the light.'

This is the nature of the person named Raiden Mei. Perhaps she is a little weak, perhaps a little pathetic, like a man-made doll. She must be controlled by others and must be filled with things that belong to others in order to function.

But there is no doubt that what this attitude can show after being driven may not reach its limit, and it may not be able to rewrite everything by one's own strength, but it can also be done with this natural talent: it can definitely catch up with that goal, and it can definitely help with something.

Since I could follow my father's gaze in the past, now I can work hard to catch up with Kiana in another possibility.

So now, in order to get the boy's attention, I fill my empty self with something that I think will make him take a second look at me.

Isn't that normal?

Isn't that quite correct?

Isn’t it very common?

……

Mei Raiden took the ice cream in one hand, looked at the sharp edges on it, and even hoped in her heart that Jiang Cheng had already licked it a few times.

Even though she knew it was meaningless, the girl couldn't help but answer his question. She raised her eyes slightly and looked at him cautiously.

"how about you?"

"I'll just buy a new one later," he said casually.

——The answer was exactly the same as expected.

The distance between them is still the same as it was when they left the haunted house, or even the feeling that has never changed since they first saw each other.

It seemed that since the first day I met Jiang Cheng, the emotions in those eyes and the good impression he had of me had hardly ever changed. It seemed that they had never decreased, nor increased. Everything was the same as before.

Mei Raiden opened her pink lips and gently licked the ice cream that once belonged to the boy with her rosy tongue - there was no taste of Jiangcheng at all.

Obviously, they were not in a distant relationship, but apart from being together and holding hands once, they basically had no closer contact.

They were clearly on a date, but there was no deeper action at all. Even the physical contact was initiated by himself in the haunted house.

Mei Raiden sighed softly, a rare look of helplessness revealed on her face. She thought about the overly healthy distance she had maintained from the boy before, and looked at the ice cream in her hand that was almost melting.

what can we do about it?

I don't have the ability to eat a whole ice cream in one bite. Even if I did, I would feel the icy feeling after a while, and the pain would go from my heart to my forehead.

……

"Mom, can I have an ice cream?"

"What kind of ice cream should I eat in the spring?"

The short and intense words caught the girl's attention. When she turned around, she saw a middle-aged woman with sunken eye sockets, wrinkles all over her face that symbolized age, and black hair tied up behind her, and a cute little girl with blue hair.

Mei Raiden hesitated for a moment, looked up at Jiang Cheng, and he nodded, agreeing to the action. The girl then turned around, ignored the woman who was a little surprised by the penetration, and walked up to the little girl in two steps.

"My little...sister, this one is for you, but please remember not to quarrel with your family."

The girl half-knelt and handed the ice cream over, with a gentle curve at the corner of her lips, slightly raised without showing her teeth, like a bad witch who was guiding and persuading, but also seemed a little immature, as if she had never done such a thing before.

"Thank you, sister." The little girl did not take the ice cream right away. Instead, she thanked her earnestly before taking it with both hands. She held it gently and carefully until she held it in her palms. Then she turned her head away and deliberately glanced at the woman, as if she was deliberately seeking attention to vent her little dissatisfaction. "Humph, it's not like you can only eat ice cream in summer."

"I'm going to kill you." The woman realized what had happened and scolded the complacent girl harshly.

Perhaps out of politeness, she turned her head and her eyes inadvertently swept across Raiden Mei's face. Her originally depressed expression changed instantly, as if struck by lightning, even her pupils trembled, and her hand subconsciously reached into her pocket and took out a few thousand-yuan bills.

"Thank you, little girl. I'll give you the money now."

"It's okay, no need..."

The subconscious response is an instinctive refusal.

Mei Raiden would not accept any reward just for this small act of kindness; it was just a self-righteous act of help.

No matter what the reason is, if the result of being given ice cream requires the parents to pay, then the little girl will probably be more restrained in the future, and may even be scolded when she gets home.

In the Far East, where people don't want to trouble others, it is impossible to refuse the kindness shown by others in person - this is really too impolite, so the extra resentment you feel can only be directed at your children.

Maybe this money really has other uses, or maybe it is because of some special reasons that you cannot buy ice cream. In order to prevent your kindness from becoming a tool to hurt others, it is very necessary to choose not to accept payment for such a trivial matter.

However, the waving hands seemed not to be seen, and were forcefully pried apart by rough fingers, and the paper was stuffed into the girl's hands.

The woman seemed to have encountered something dirty. She forcefully handed over the money in her hand. She turned around without hesitation, without even caring whether the girl held it firmly or not. She pulled the little girl hard and left forcefully, leaving behind her back, which seemed to be walking with excessive anxiety and impatience.

"use……"

……

The banknotes fluttered from the girl's fingertips to the ground. The fingers that were strong enough to hold a sword now seemed unable to even hold a few pieces of paper that were so light that they were almost weightless. They could only let them fly and fall in the direction of the wind, performing an ugly dance full of the stench of money in the dusk that was about to fall.

It was denied.

Being hated.

Being disgusted.

They were unwilling to say even one more word, unwilling to stay even one more second, and even worried that they would get into any trouble if they didn't pay on time.

The woman was so impatient that she even turned around too quickly. She pulled the little girl away as if she was escaping from a flood or disaster.

It is indeed a scourge. Even ordinary disasters will not be as bad as the girl. Even if he is an blatant bad guy, there will be people who refute him. Even if he has done heinous wrong things, there will always be people who care about the so-called human rights. He can even enjoy a good life in prison and experience a life that those people killed by him may never enjoy in their entire lives.

How can there be bad people, how can there be evil people, how can there be people who can be called human beings who are hated by everyone, hated by the whole city, hated by the whole world, and almost no one will give them any care.

yes……

Mei Raiden is a disaster that is hated by everyone.

The body was so stiff that it couldn't even move. It seemed that the blood flowing in the body was frozen into icicles in an instant. Everywhere from the fingertips to the heart could only feel the bone-chilling cold, as cold as death.

Something in the depths of the girl's heart seemed to make a 'crack' sound, as if some unknown thing fell into a bottomless abyss. Even though she had almost completely lost the ability to think, as if her brain had stiffened along with her body in an instant, she could still feel sad.

Obviously I already know the ending.

He clearly knew that he was not welcome.

Obviously, things like this have happened countless times before...

Why……

Will it still hurt?

It clearly wasn't that painful before.

No matter how much I was hated by others in the past, or how they cursed me with merciless words, I never felt the same as I do now. The pain in my heart, like being pricked by a needle, has never been felt like it is now.

Is it because the heart has been awakened?

Is it because my relationship with Jiang Cheng has become dull?

The heart that had been worn and corroded by endless despair and had become as hard as steel and stone was awakened to its softness. The hypocritical hard shell that was just an imaginary creation of her own was discarded, revealing her true inner self, the true nature of the person named Raiden Mei.

But this should not be the case. The tenderness given is only a possibility that is almost like a miracle, which is farther away than the one in hundreds of millions probability of winning the lottery. Any behavior that pins hope on this is stupid.

The man named Jiang Cheng, the gentle boy as bright as the sun, is absolutely unique, and there will never be another one like him in this city.

Even though one is very clear and aware of this in the heart, one still cannot harden one's heart in the first moment of getting along with others.

Even the slightest bit of softness, even the slightest bit of softening, will be pierced by malice harder than steel, and once again realize that this city has been hating the truth about itself from the very beginning.

This is essentially nothing, just like a person walking leisurely suddenly accidentally bumping his toes against the edge of a table. What he touched was insignificant, and only a tiny part of his body was injured, but the weakness of human nature will make him sad because of this small injury.

——The girl felt the warmth.

That is a temperature that even exceeds that of the sun.

That is a feeling that absolutely shouldn't belong to this moment.

At least at this moment, the setting sun hanging in the sky, which is gradually showing some twilight, is simply unable to compare with this warmth and light.

The subconscious and instinctive action of looking up allowed the eyes, which had become dim again at some point, to catch the only ray of light in the darkness.

That was the boy named Jiang Cheng. He was the boy who was walking slowly towards her with an exquisite bill in his hand. He was the boy who was wearing a dress-style school uniform and was looking at her with eyes as sparkling as the stars and the moon.

Just by looking at it, I can feel the comfort as if I were a fellow creature from the deepest part of my body. I can feel so safe even if I fall asleep here.

As soon as the soul realized that the other person was standing there, the darkness that it had imposed on itself disappeared in an instant, and light once again reached the world.

I felt inexplicably sleepy, perhaps because I had been holding on for too long and couldn't help wanting to have a good rest when I found a place where I could feel safe. Until that voice that showed no disguising its concern came, it was as if it recharged my tired body in one breath and squeezed out more energy.

"Come with me to the next place."

"Mei."

……

There is no negative option.

Not even a second in my heart.

The only possible response was to agree, the only possible action was to nod - neither the body nor the soul, nor anything deeper, had any other thoughts for even a moment.

Because it was Jiang Cheng who was reaching out his hand, towards himself who was not cared about by anyone, towards himself who was in a miserable state and a loser. The light of the setting sun flowed out from between his fingers, but reflected a complete brilliance in his palm, as if at this moment, even the huge sun in the sky was held in his hand.

The slender white fingers stretched out and gently touched the boy's fingertips. It was like an electric shock, and the eyes lit up in just that instant.

Jiang Cheng's fingers seemed to have never experienced physical labor or exercise. There was no roughness on them. They were very smooth and soft.

……

what……

"Feel sorry……"

"I think I kind of screwed up."

"I am the guide."

The girl bit her lip lightly, her eyebrows drooped slightly, and her head was also a little depressed. After she managed to stitch her heart together, she was filled with guilt for what she had done.

Unable to control himself, he kept correcting himself until the boy's gentle voice took on a bit of seriousness.

"You have nothing to apologize for, this is my problem."

……

——It’s meaningless.

“Because this is my problem.”