Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Yes.

This is Jiangcheng’s home.

There is nothing false or illusory about it. It is the place where he once lived and the only place he lives in this city.

No matter whether he is here or not, no matter whether he leaves or not, no matter what happens, the traces of life here cannot be erased.

At least this is indeed his room. The atmosphere inside, including the messy clothes on the shelf next to it, is full of the smell of youth.

I was indeed in Jiang Cheng's room. As long as I stayed here for a while, he would definitely come back. This is his only home.

The crimson-purple pupils were trembling, as if they were lenses that had been hit to the point of breaking, but were still maintaining the last bit of integrity. Even though countless fine and dense lines had already appeared, they were still struggling to hold on.

I can’t afford to accept the consequences, so I have to go against that inner voice no matter what.

Definitely...definitely will come back.

Just wait for Jiang Cheng a little longer.

Mei Raiden has subconsciously begun to deceive herself. She didn't even take off her shoes. She was so impolite that it seemed as if she had thrown all her past manners into the trash. She walked forward with her matching purple high heels lightly stepping on the solid wooden floor, reflecting a hint of purple on the floor that was as smooth as a mirror.

Entering the living room, the lights on the ceiling have been turned on, and every corner is illuminated. Except for the fact that the layout is a bit messy, everything is very clean, as if it had been cleaned by gravity.

There was nothing worth stopping for, so he walked quickly into the boy's room and looked at the quilt that had not been folded at all and the clothes that were thrown casually on the bed. It was obvious that he had just changed out of the set of clothes. He could even make out a square, relatively short piece of cloth.

It has not been sorted out at all.

Then...

Let me help you.

The slender fingertips gently found the square piece of cloth from the clothes and lifted it up gently. The purple pupils looked at it carefully, searching for possible dirt. Every corner would be looked at patiently, and he would even take the initiative to touch and try with his hands.

It's a bit dirty.

It needs to be cleaned up thoroughly.

Subconsciously entering the perspective of a good wife and mother, the girl judged whether she needed to clean the room or help clean it. She was also using this shameful way to offset her inner anxiety and fear.

If I could continue like this, relying on my self-deceiving obsession, I could use the remaining scent on some of the boy's clothes to divert attention.

Even if I can hold on until tomorrow.

It should be enough to hold on until the next morning.

If Mei Raiden had not walked into the back hall on the right, if she had not turned her head accidentally, if she had not seen the exquisitely wrapped gift.

——No ifs.

On the coffee table made of translucent glass, a gift box, delicately wrapped in purple satin with even the details carefully taken care of, lay quietly there.

Under the illumination of the light, every detail is clearly illuminated, and even trying to blur one's perspective is impossible.

……

……

It's my gift...

what……

what……

what……

You don't even want to open it?

Even if I took it home, I would just throw it aside.

You don't even want to take a look at it, so is it only worthy of being placed on the table?

The teeth are trembling, the rosy tip of the tongue is curling instinctively, suppressing the pain and collapse, crystal tears are swirling in the eyes, trying hard to retain, the heart built of building blocks is torn to pieces in the sudden storm - because it is the most ridiculous superposition.

Using ridiculous materials and holding ridiculous fragments, there is no need to make any extra efforts. Just a gentle push will cause it to collapse miserably.

It was as if my internal organs were bending, as if my heart was being grasped and twisted, the pain was suppressed to the point of seeming to burst, and the distortion came from the deepest part of my body.

I felt like I was about to collapse all over my body. I wasn't hurt by anyone and I didn't have any wounds, but it was even more painful than being beaten and hurt by others, or being stoned by everyone at once.

It was like the fall in the past, but it was more painful than the most desperate darkness, because it was not an empty fall, but a collapse with pain.

……

……

'Now you know what Jiangcheng is, right?'

'Are there any other ways you deceive yourself?'

"Raiden Mei, what else can you say?"

A delicate, artificial, pretentious, and condescending voice pursued relentlessly, and the scarlet eyes, which were different from the purple, were like pupils flashing with electromagnetic sparks, staring at the pathetic and ridiculous girl, who looked like a rat living in the gutter who had the last cookie taken away from her hand.

We have been forced into a situation where there is no room for turning back, where there is no room even for self-deception. What other response can we make?

It’s just Jiangcheng, is it that serious?

Is it necessary to deceive yourself and belittle yourself like this?

The Thunder Queen was becoming increasingly impatient. Her long-pent-up emotions and excessive Honkai energy were at a point where they could explode at any time.

"The truth is already in front of you, the gift is already in front of you, can you still find a reason why he is not so bad?"

……

what……

——Jiang Cheng must have packaged it carefully after reading it, right?

……

Reality: When the thunder breaks the sky: 214. Raiden Mei doesn't want to be abandoned

Jiang Cheng was obviously very happy when he first received the gift. He shouldn't be the kind of person who would just receive a gift and throw it aside without caring, right?

I guess so?

Maybe?

Maybe?

Even self-deception could not give an accurate answer. Even the fingers that covered my eyes were trembling and were slightly crooked.

In the darkness that I have brought upon myself, I can still see some light, some cruel and hopeless truth that is like looking directly into the sun.

In fact, he should have realized it, realized the falsity of the lies he told, and realized the departure of the boy, because when deceiving himself, he can only use the word "should", but not the firm absolute and "must", and declare in his heart without hesitation that the boy would never be like that.

Perhaps it was out of self-preservation that this body wanted to go on living. The girl named Raiden Mei was still struggling, still unwilling to give up, like a gambler who had lost all his money and was frantically searching among his chips for something that could help him turn the tables - but in fact it was just a pile of garbage that had been proven to be useless.

……

I couldn't get through to the boy on his cell phone at the beginning, so I placed my hope in the dormitory and stood at the door, waiting for the boy to open it. After entering, I comforted myself that the boy had gone out temporarily, and I could even deceive myself when I saw the gift I had given him.

He used the most lame excuse, something he wouldn't have made even if it was his first lie, and deceived himself that he had packaged it well after reading it.

It's just ridiculous, isn't it?

I already know all the truth.

Even its head, which had shrunk into its shell, had been pulled out once.

You still have to pretend, lie that you don't know, deceive yourself that you don't have any feelings, deceive yourself that you can still be an ostrich.

Even if the black cloth blocking your vision in front of you is already torn and tattered, you still have to do your best to focus your sight on the part that is still intact. This is not someone else's cloth covering you, you are just trying to escape.

The gift box in front of him was packed bit by bit by the girl, keeping every detail in mind, in order to give the boy the best and most perfect gift.

For this gift, the girl even gave away all her money, endured the ridicule of the store manager, and suppressed the urge to fight back.

Because the precious gift was contaminated and tortured by the store manager's fingers, it had to be opened and repackaged with a new one. He could accept the accusations and hurt from others, but the teenager absolutely could not, not even out of ignorance could he come into contact with that kind of person.

Two consecutive fresh memories, using exactly the same technique, took almost an hour just to give the best gift.

How could his memory be so bad that he could miss the details and not tell who tied the gift after seeing it again in less than a day?

Mei Raiden finally opened the box. Her slender fingertips trembled as she groped for the soft silk ribbon. She followed the familiar place and pulled it gently. The delicate flower-like ribbon really bloomed like a spring flower.

There is no room for thinking anymore.

Even my self seems to have dissolved into the truth.

The little bit of dignity and reserve that was left had been shattered.

The remaining instincts, the body's instincts, the last thoughts imprinted in the muscles drive this machine-like body to open a kaleidoscope.

——It’s a picture of the panties of a shameless girl.

——It was the posture of a girl who was willing to serve men with her beauty.

——It’s myself.

……

……

……

The broken thoughts were completely shattered, and rooted in the body's instinct of self-protection, no repair was made, allowing the mind to collapse.

Only the opened kaleidoscope was still moving in the originally expected direction, constantly displaying the shameless girl's shy expression of love.

It's as ridiculous as the garbage on the roadside. No matter how much it heats up under the sun, it will only give off the stench of garbage, immature and dirty love.

Because everything was so complete that the boy who received the gift didn't even get to take a look at it. Even if he opened it just once, the order of operation would be disrupted, and it would not be arranged neatly like the picture of the guards in his memory.

Jiang Cheng never opened the gift.

I can't deceive myself anymore.

Perhaps he had just returned home and the gift was thrown into the living room.

I didn't take a second look, and I was too lazy to take a second look.

It's not that I choose to reject it after seeing everything, but I don't even want to open it from the beginning, so that everything is still the same as when I put it in, from the first, second, third, fourth...

It's all the same, everything is the same, flipping through the pages over and over again, watching them over and over again, doing meaningless things persistently and unwillingly.

What's the point?

What’s the point of turning to the end?

There was not even a trace of the boy left.

There is no past that has ever been touched, caressed, or looked at.

Mei Raiden just silently flipped through the kaleidoscope, opening all the pictures that she had taken and retouched bit by bit with shyness, hoping that the boy might see it all.

Perhaps it was the forced calmness that made him lose the chance to get excited. It was because he had experienced so much that he didn't want to look at the part about himself at all. His whole mind was on Jiang Cheng - this time he saw the part about Jiang Cheng much more clearly than the last time.

The light that he tried to pursue and accompany, turned its head away from beginning to end when he was arrogant, despicable and shameless, and did not even think of looking at the light beside him.

As expected, I was just having wild thoughts. I was the only one who sent the random ○. Even if I wanted to attract more attention from Jiang Cheng, this method was too much.

Ahhh...

There is no other way, right?

She said that she wanted to occupy a larger position in Jiang Cheng's heart and to squeeze out that unknown girl, but in fact, she couldn't find any confidence in her heart except for this inexplicable possessive desire.

He kept mentioning it, perhaps to give himself some motivation to take action, instead of hiding in the shadows, shivering and crouching with his head in his hands.

It seems that as long as I say more, I can add a little courage and confidence to my empty heart, making me more shameless and unscrupulous.

Just like the so-called ordinary believers, she even dares to think about such things.

Where does the confidence come from?

Where does the courage come from?

A loser like me can't find any reason to make Jiang Cheng look at me sideways. No matter where I look, I can't find anything that can make him marvel.

Even though he was praised all the time, he couldn't find anything that could catch Jiang Cheng's attention. He didn't have any talent or ability, not even the courage.

If I can't make use of this body, I'm afraid it will be discarded like garbage at any time because it's considered useless.