Collapse, a simulator of lifelong regret!

I actually allowed such a young man to be manipulated at will because of such a dirty and smelly wish. Even the love and self that I cherished the most became playthings in the hands of others, and became as pathetic as a rag doll, just to satisfy the wishes of a disgusting and pure garbage Ruler.

It was as if all her emotions were completely exhausted. Alicia, who was accepting of everything, didn't even have the energy to complain hysterically or get angry. All that was left in her pink eyes was her fragmented self and soul.

"Why……"

"why."

"Why!"

"Why are you so gentle? Why do you forgive me no matter what I do? You clearly said that you don't like people who are gentle to everyone. You clearly said that you hate people who forgive others without any bottom line."

Please, use your fists... no, use your feet to kick him, use all the ways you can think of to punish this dirty and shameless Herrscher in front of you.

Alicia really wanted to kneel on the ground and be severely punished by the boy with all kinds of torture instruments.

——The girl really wanted to be severely tortured.

I really want the boy to inflict the same punishment on my rotten heart as on my body, which looks perfect and beautiful but is actually just an ugly mushroom that lures others like a bright mushroom.

——It doesn’t make sense.

This self that has been distorted like a rag doll is simply incapable of doing the just and fair things that Jiang Cheng should do.

Even the person you love the most has been forgotten because of other people's wishes, even the person you love the most has been distorted, and the feelings in your heart have been trampled on at will by others.

Even if Jiang Cheng was completely reborn, there was no way he would harm a piece of trash like himself.

Because of family, because of tenderness.

Because Jiang Cheng is a person with empathy.

Even though this so-called relative is just complete garbage, a Herrscher who will cling to him tightly after being picked up, and will shatter any bit of beauty, and will only bring misfortune and tragedy over and over again.

……

……

"My personality is not that gentle, but I am born with a strong ability to empathize and understand other people's emotions."

"The reason why it turned out like this is actually because of you, because you are here."

"Because I saw the fairies in Paradise when I was very young."

"and……"

"I don't forgive without limits."

The young man tilted his head slightly, and gently placed his fingertips on the girl's chest, where her heartbeat was almost inaudible. The tenderness in his eyes was like the stars and the sea, and had been deeply engraved in the soul deeper than the mind.

"No matter what you do, you don't mean to hurt me. It's just that you can't understand the feelings of each individual very well."

"Isn't it?"

……

what……

that's all?

that's all?

Is that all?

Because I didn’t want to hurt Jiang Cheng, because I didn’t subjectively want to hurt Jiang Cheng himself, can what I did be forgiven?

So are the consequences of those actions acceptable?

Alicia felt something was wrong, and some incomprehensible unwillingness, and her still dim eyes reflected a void as if she had fallen into an abyss.

The cherry-colored lips pursed unconsciously.

She wanted to say something in rebuttal.

The girl couldn't accept that she was forgiven, and she couldn't even accept that the boy, who had lost his emotions and became a zombie, was willing to forgive...

——I am such a shameless monster.

——I am such a despicable demon.

If I were forgiven so easily.

If it was accepted so easily.

Then what is the sadness of the young man because of the suffering he has endured, because of his shattered happiness, because he has to face death alone and spend even the last bit of his time alone?

What exactly is Wei Weiwei, who left this world with regrets?

Even love is tainted.

Even love is torn apart.

Being played with like a rag doll by others.

But in those dark deep blue eyes like the deep sea and the starry sky, the vast ocean and the starry sky that has existed since ancient times are enough to embrace everything.

"You may feel that what I said is wrong, but this feeling, this idea, the source comes from you - Alicia."

The boy pressed his fingers harder on her chest. The indifference between his gentleness and his disregard for his calmness were finally discovered, or rather, the girl, whose mind was overwhelmed by countless emotions, finally realized it deeply.

——The boy in front of me is no longer that boy.

It is a life without emotions.

The behavior just now was probably only because the boy was not a bad person at heart, and only because the thing called the sea responded to the wish.

He was just responding to the wishes of a Herrscher who was actually a twisted, dirty, and turbid monster.

The young man's words were no longer restricted by anything else.

I will no longer hide my thoughts for fear that my words may hurt others.

It all depends on the burning emotions in his body, on whether his heart is aching, whether it is beating, and whether it can drive him to do something.

Those dark pupils could actually look directly at Alicia, and speak out words that he would never say to anyone.

"You actually..."

"You never gave me a chance to understand your heart."

"My understanding of you may come more from admiration, from standing in the human world, looking at the lovely fairies living in the beautiful paradise, or from looking at the holy and flawless gods in the sky as a believer."

"My understanding of you may be closer to how I feel about you, rather than being able to empathize and understand how you feel at this moment?"

"In this case, I can't really understand you, and I can't be a qualified person to understand you."

"Perhaps that's why you left."

The boy reached out and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of the girl's eyes.

Being able to show kindness immediately after accusing someone is a result that can only be achieved by combining a nature that is not bad to begin with and the cruelty of the Herrscher.

This alone made the girl in front of him even sadder, as if her heart was being cut into pieces by countless sharp knives.

No.

It's not a knife anymore.

It's a chainsaw.

Alicia felt as if a chainsaw that had not yet been turned on was stabbed into her heart, and the teeth were even rusted due to years of disrepair.

Yes.

The boy actually didn't fully understand himself.

He only understood part of it and accepted that part.

The goddess from the stars and the moon, the fairies from paradise, and the flawless girl around you.

Humans, fairies, Herrscher...

These identities should be a trinity.

Living like a human being, with all the virtues of humans, and living in a romantic world like a fairy, as if it has not been touched by the filth and dirtiness of reality, but it has the disastrous identity of a herrscher.

……

Falling from the starry sky and landing in the fairy-tale-like woods, it creates a natural romance.

The good life in the small town has forged many virtues.

In the spring when the snow begins to melt and the flowers bloom, she stands at the door of the church and gives flowers she picked to every passerby.

In the sunny season, she would go to the welfare home and weed the orchard with the children there, looking forward to this year's harvest.

In the season when leaves were falling, she completely learned how to speak. She pasted leaves of various colors into pictures and made up stories to read to everyone.

In the snowy season, she and the boy drew the shapes of musical notes on the snow and sang ballads in the winter forest.

The people in the small town are just as selfless and pure.

Just like the always enthusiastic residents in every fairy tale.

The auntie selling cakes on the street would always enthusiastically offer steaming hot food when she saw me, and the clowns on the street would also try to laugh out loud.

The seemingly barbaric uncle in the blacksmith shop would always run over to comfort himself and the boy when he and Jiang Cheng accidentally knocked over the furnace, carefully checking whether there were any injuries, and he couldn't even say a word of scolding.

The aunties in the welfare home always have smiles on their faces and treat every child gently. Those children who have lost their families are loved by everyone in the town. No one will discriminate against them, and no one will bully them.

It is so simple that it seems like a world that only exists in storybooks.

It was a beauty that did not belong to the world, and it actually made the girl mistakenly believe that the world was so beautiful.

And in the long journey of choosing to leave, the girl, as a goddess, saves one person after another who has fallen into depression and collapse.

Almost no one would have any bad thoughts about this overly beautiful fairy. A smile is better than any violence or law.

It is because of the initial beauty that we encounter all the people who are willing to help and love us, and all the wind and birds we see on the journey.

Only someone named Alicia can show such a gentle smile.

Only by summing up all past experiences can one understand the girl herself. Only in this way can one truly understand and empathize with the girl, rather than the inexplicable empathy experienced at a certain time due to the influence of the tides.

After all, Jiang Cheng could not truly understand the fairy that he personally brought into the human world.

But is this the teenager’s fault?

Should the boy apologize for this?

--How can it be!

Such a gentle and perfect boy.

How could a person who could even save a girl like Weiwei who was suffering from latent schizophrenia, autism and depression, and who could pull the girl out of the abyss of darkness, not be able to empathize with her, a girl who had lived with him for more than ten years and even had only one playmate to laugh with throughout his entire childhood?

How could a young man who is so sensitive that he can perceive the pain of others and is willing to provide his own help not feel this beauty?

——It’s the girl’s fault.

——This is entirely the girl’s fault.

Because he never gave the boy a chance to empathize, because he only watched everything from afar as an escapee, because he only arrived belatedly after despair and bad things happened, and because as a natural disaster and a herrscher, he still shamelessly stayed in the world.

Even now, the already perfect boy has been awakened once again, causing him to forget the girl he loved the most, with whom he wanted to be buried even after death.

At least for now...

Maybe Alicia can change something.

Although the emotions of the boy in front of him may just be special because of his own wishes.

Although this behavior is dirty and despicable, it is probably the most smelly and disgusting desire that can only be found in the toilets of the slums.

——Isn’t this also good?

It doesn't matter how dirty it is, it doesn't matter even if it insults this love.

Aren’t I a herrscher who harms the world anyway?

At least at this moment...

——The boy belongs only to me.

Alicia raised her head, gently raised her soft cherry-colored lips, and looked into those eyes, which still seemed cold, but after everything was gone, she could still feel the empathy and gentleness buried beneath the polar regions.

"Jiangcheng."

"Please join me..."