Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Did you say it?

said it.

It felt a lot easier than Ruomai had initially imagined.

Xiaoqiu will definitely be angry.

Or maybe she would become overwhelmed because she didn't want to hurt me and subconsciously want to run away from me.

Ruomai smiled bitterly. She didn't accept Haruna's suggestion after all.

She didn't want to lie even if the truth would deeply hurt both of them.

Togawa Akie's eyes widened slightly and her lips were tightly pursed.

No longer restrained by Ruomai, she slowly took two steps back and looked over with an incredulous look.

If she was just a little angry just now and remained calm and steady overall; then Qiu Hui now can be said to be "panicked".

"Sister... Why is there a sister? Why do you mention...sister?"

Qiu Hui muttered to herself with a dull look in her eyes.

Although she was still denying it to herself, she actually knew why.

Of course I would mention my sister.

Ruomai, my sister, my parents, and myself were all closely related in that series of ridiculous events.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because I'm scared."

Qiu Hui knew what Ruomai was afraid of.

Qiu Hui felt nauseous and dizzy, as if Ruomai in front of her was some kind of terrifying source of radiation, and the counter in her heart was ticking like crazy.

She was probably afraid that I would stay away from her.

Because I do have the urge to do so now.

"I have thought about whether I should make up a new real name." Ruomai continued with a wry smile, "But if that happens... it will be even more difficult to deal with once the truth is revealed."

"Even though I have concealed many things...I still don't want to lie to Xiaoqiu."

Qiu Hui continued to slowly retreat, her whole body trembling slightly, as if she was standing in a cold wind.

I don't want to have anything to do with her, let alone... clarify the misunderstanding with her.

I know what Ruomai wants to explain.

But I don't want to listen.

"…Why?" Akie asked.

She seemed to be asking Ruomai, but also seemed to be asking herself.

Yutenji-san and I are just classmates who know each other but have a normal relationship. That's enough.

Anything further... I don't want to know.

I don't want to know anything other than what she thinks of me or her relationship with her sister.

So, I can only try my best to deny its existence.

Because once all this is acknowledged, unacceptable consequences will follow.

Togawa Akie seemed to be able to hear her own instinct screaming in her heart.

My value is equal exchange. I have to give back as much as I get.

Correspondingly...the amount of compensation should be based on the amount of damage caused.

If I knew nothing, I could legally and reasonably turn a blind eye to those "unpleasant past events".

But now I know, because she reappeared in front of me.

She was asking me to answer for everything that had happened between then and now.

"Because, I...I like Xiao Qiu."

Ruomai showed an extremely bitter smile.

"From that time until now."

Qiu Hui stopped moving backwards.

She forced herself to look up and listen carefully to what Ruomai was going to say next.

Yutenji Wakamugi took half a step forward, as if hoping to get one step closer to the person she loved.

But she didn't move forward after all, as if if she got any closer, Qiu Hui would be frightened and fly away like a bird that temporarily stopped on the ground.

"I really want to help Xiao Qiu."

"I've never felt like you've ever caused me any trouble."

"I accepted Haruna-san's help, but it wasn't for..."

Facing Ruomai who was beginning to be at a loss for words, Qiu Hui gently shook her head.

"I know." She answered expressionlessly, "You don't need to make excuses. From your perspective at that time, persuading me to go back was indeed the right decision."

"At that time, I acted irrationally because of my paranoia. My subsequent indifference and rejection of you were also a mistake I made because of my self-righteousness. Yutenji-san, you don't need to take any responsibility for this."

Yes.

The responsibility lies with me.

All the mistakes were caused by my stupidity and paranoia, so I should bear all the consequences myself...

...But how to bear it?

After the series of turmoil, Qiu Hui never cared about Ruomai's movements again. The only thing she knew was that her entrance examination performance seemed to be a mess.

As a video blogger, she is currently in a state of semi-dropping out of school. It is easy to imagine what happened after that.

Togawa Akie is used to shouldering all the responsibilities. She has only dealt with minor incidents so far, so she can still have some leeway even if she does this...

But this time, she didn't know what to do.

Yutenji Wakamu's bitter smile made her feel at a loss, her heart was shaken and she felt nervous.

She was used to the feeling of absolving others of responsibility and taking it upon herself.

But this time it was different…she was the one to be forgiven.

Qiu Hui realized the irony in the logic of her own behavior.

In her view, conviction was a form of forgiveness that put an end to the debate over responsibility and obligation and used the current definite wound to avoid endless torture in the future.

Accepting forgiveness, on the contrary, means that you owe a debt that you may never be able to repay.

Ruomai did nothing wrong.

It's me instead.

I screwed everything up.

The huge liability for breach of contract destroyed the account balance that she had been struggling to maintain for all this time.

In a sense, Togawa Aie went bankrupt.

buzzing.

In a trance, Ruomai's voice came to my ears.

Akie had no idea what she said.

And one more thing.

my sister.

"…How did she help you?"

Akie said in a sleepwalking tone.

Ruomai's best efforts to comfort her were interrupted by a sudden question.

"She...I, we..." She was so nervous that her words seemed unclear.

Qiu Hui looked at the face in front of her. The makeup that Ruomai was so proud of seemed to have been messed up by sweat and tears.

Maybe it's because I'm embarrassed to say it out loud.

But it doesn’t matter, Qiu Hui feels that she can guess it.

"Is she still... monitoring my movements? And telling you the results, so that you can meet me 'accidentally'?"

Ruomai was stunned and could only nod slowly.

“…You guessed it right.”

She then tried to speak again, but was interrupted swiftly by Akie.

"I understand. That's how it is. No need to explain to me..."

Qiu Hui raised her head slightly, muttering to herself while looking at the sky blankly.

"...I won't blame you."

Chapter 31 The Last Straw

In other words, my sister is still monitoring me?

How far did he go? Send someone to follow me? Ask my acquaintances about the situation? Or is there something more horrifying?

After trying to list various possibilities in her mind, Qiu Hui realized that she was not as nervous as she thought.

Rather, there is an inexplicable sense of relief.

That kind of thing is fine anyway.

Instead of feeling frightened or angry, Qiu Hui felt an unusual sense of calmness in her heart.

So this is ah……

Instead, she felt that if this were the case, everything would make sense.

If my sister has been watching me, that means that I am actually... in a sense, invincible.

Because, since she is willing to do this, she will definitely not stand idly by when she thinks she should lend a helping hand.

I thought I overcame a series of difficulties and ultimately achieved independent results purely through my own efforts.

But in fact, my sister's surveillance has eliminated the most important risk I face.

If she was really spying on me, then there was no way I would fail.

Just like playing a game, you can always start over even if your health points reach zero.

Oh, yes. Thinking about it carefully, even the rent and formalities for the rental house were handled by my sister in the beginning.

Without my sister's help, I wouldn't be able to do anything from the beginning.

Haha.

Have I figured this out?

Qiu Hui wanted to laugh a little, but in the end she didn't laugh.

Everything happened mercilessly in a flash.

He thought he had finally gotten a satisfactory result that could reconcile with his past prejudices, but the moment Ruomai told the truth, his support was cut off.

A few minutes ago she felt like everything was on track, but a few minutes later, the foundations on which her entire lifestyle rested collapsed like a tower of sand in an instant.

"Wakamai."

Qiu Hui turned around.

"I already... know."

"So, please let me be alone for a while..."

Akie made the request in a tone that sounded as if she was dead inside.