Loneliness and Rock and Roll with Band Observer

Page 291

But it is obvious that Yutenji Wakamugi will not agree.

Some instinct honed through long-term interactions made her realize that this was definitely not the right time to respect the other person's wishes.

"Don't go!"

She almost screamed out loud, took three or two steps forward, grabbed Qiu Hui's wrist, and then took her into her arms.

Qiu Hui's strength was not as great as Ruomai's, not to mention that she was now like a broken puppet. Not to mention resisting, it seemed that she even had difficulty standing still.

Ruomai began to apologize intermittently. She began to put the blame on herself as much as possible.

Yes, responsibility...it's a really scary thing.

"It was all my fault back then... Maybe, for Xiao Qiu at that time, persuading you to go home was the right thing to do. But, even if my intentions were good, I shouldn't have used that method..."

"It's not Wakamugi's fault." Akie shook her head expressionlessly. "You have no obligation to take care of my feelings perfectly. On the contrary, I am the one who should be blamed for deliberately distancing myself from you after that incident."

"If we talk about being hurt, you're the one who's been hurt the most... right?"

Qiu Hui expressed her thoughts in cold, analytical terms.

"I'm really sorry for this period of time. I..."

She apologized, as usual, politely and sincerely.

Apologize. It seems that the only thing I can do now is to apologize, right?

What else can we do? What can we do to make up for it?

What else can I offer?

So, please, Ruomai, don't care about me anymore.

I have nothing to repay...

"Stop apologizing, okay?"

Ruomai hugged the person in his arms tightly.

"I don't care...I really don't care!"

She could feel the powerless and submissive state of Qiu Hui in her arms.

But she would rather Qiu Hui could struggle a little longer, rather than being like she is now, like an empty shell with its inner strength drained away.

"Who is right and who is wrong... I don't care at all!" Ruo Mai said with obvious tears in her voice, "Who is responsible for what happened at that time, who was right and who was wrong, even if we can distinguish them clearly, what's the point?"

"Xiao Qiu, I... I just, I just hope you won't leave me again this time..."

Togawa Aie remained silent.

I have nothing to repay.

"...Since you were able to obtain information about me from my sister, there is at least one thing you should know."

Qiu Hui opened her mouth slightly, her face ashen.

“The matter between me and… Aine.”

Akie's silence spread, covering Yutenji Wakamugi behind her.

Ruomai seemed to be in a trance and loosened his arms around Qiu Hui.

Yes.

Chihaya Aine.

What is the relationship between her and Qiu Hui now?

Akihime has already said that she likes Aine.

Even if the other party is not particularly interested in her... or something like that.

"yes."

Ruomai, who had let go of her hand, couldn't help but clench her fists.

"...I really don't know what to do."

"Who is right and who is wrong, who should be held responsible, now... I can only dwell on these boring things."

"I……"

Qiu Hui slowly stretched out her hand and wiped her ashen face vigorously.

Of course... I am willing to respond to Wakamai's feelings just like I responded to Goto Ichiri.

It can even be said that it is my duty.

but……

I can't do it.

I actually have nothing.

I no longer have anything to use as a bargaining chip.

Togawa Akie realized one thing. Some of the basic things she had been struggling to maintain until now have now turned into quicksand blown away by the wind.

The fatigue, anxiety, pain and emptiness that had been suppressed for a self-proclaimed noble reason suddenly emerged one after another as if in competition.

She needs to study, do two jobs at the same time, and almost compulsively spend a lot of time helping her friends solve problems.

There is no free time, no room to relax, and I have never really enjoyed those precious things that I have exchanged for with my tears and sweat.

She suddenly felt a stronger nausea than she had ever felt before—much stronger than the time she had negotiated the contract in the firm's building.

Dizziness. Psychological stress

Darkness quickly covered the entire field of vision.

The strength in her limbs was drained away in an instant, and Togawa Akie felt as if she could see her eyes slowly closing.

It seems that I am really tired.

It's not Ruomai's fault.

It's my own fault.

Just like that, falling.

"..."

Chapter 32 So Qiu Hui gave up thinking

"..."

Fortunately.

I can still stand.

I thought he would faint, but it seems it's not that serious.

I felt a force from below. It was Ruomai, she was supporting me.

My legs were a little weak just now, a bit like the lack of oxygen caused by standing up suddenly after squatting for too long.

After briefly assessing her own situation, Akie turned her head and stared at Wakami.

Her vision had not yet fully recovered. In her eyes, Ruomai's face was blurry, as if she was not wearing glasses.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell? How about we go home and rest? Or should I call an ambulance..."

Ruomai muttered nervously.

"It's not that exaggerated."

In response, Qiu Hui struggled hard, trying to open Ruomai's support.

But her soft movements didn't seem to have much effect, and she was still firmly controlled by the other party.

"Can you please let me go? I want to be alone for a while."

Akie made a request, but Wakamugi turned a deaf ear to it.

"No. I can't just leave you alone..."

Having said this, she suddenly closed her eyes in pain and shook her head gently.

“…Or do you think, Akira, that it would be better if Aine could accompany you?”

This question was really... dangerous, and it almost made Qiu Hui feel a tingling sensation on her back.

"No." She answered almost without hesitation, "I really just want to be alone now, I don't want to be with anyone..."

Before she finished speaking, she realized something and added hastily, "It's just being alone. I won't do anything stupid."

Qiu Hui almost felt ashamed to say such words directly.

But some things are better said directly. After dealing with a group of band girls for such a long time, she has learned a lot of lessons from their experiences.

"Even so, I can't just leave you alone..."

There was no sign of the strength in Ruomai's hands easing.

"I know, Xiao Qiu probably hates me right now. Even if you keep emphasizing that I have no responsibility and that you understand my thoughts...but I know that you just think that things 'should' be this way."

"Actually... you may not really think so. Maybe you really think it's my fault, but you just deny it verbally because you think you shouldn't think that way."

"Perhaps, it is precisely because your 'real thoughts' and your 'right thoughts' are not consistent that Xiaoqiu is so... painful now, right?"

Qiu Hui stood firm on her feet and stopped her weak struggle, just standing there.

"...I don't know. Besides, I don't want to think about it anymore."

Her petite body trembled slightly in Ruomai's arms.

What are my real thoughts?

I don't know. Togawa Akie refused to think about these questions any further. Her fuse had blown, cutting off the power supply.

What I think is right and what I think will make me happy are not only not completely the same, but in many cases they can even be said to be poles apart.

If doing the right thing can make me happy, then it would be the best of both worlds.

I've been pursuing both.

As a result... maybe I gradually started to lose the distinction.

I want to help everyone as much as possible.

I want to make enough money to live a decent life on my own.

Are these things considered "proper" or "pleasant"?

and.

My sister has been watching me.

She may be helping me secretly... or she may not.

But anyway, since she has been trying to monitor me, it at least proves one thing.

Everything I have done so far has been achieved with their tacit consent.

In their eyes, perhaps I was just a...stubborn kid from the beginning to the end.