Variety shows are crazy but don't cause internal conflict; I'm proud to drive others crazy

Chapter 6 The essence of humanity is pre-made corpses

Song Wanwan hadn't checked her phone yet and was unaware of the latest trending topics online. She said coldly, "I never use toothpicks; I always use dental floss."

"what?"

Jiang Nanxi looked at Shen Lan in shock, then at Song Wanwan, "You mean, Shen Lan's thing is smaller than a toothpick, only as thin as dental floss?"

Song Wanwan: ? ? ?

Jiang Nanxi quickly apologized to the camera, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to all the netizens. After all, I haven't used it or really seen it. I've only seen it wearing shorts. I didn't expect it to be like this... Oh well, to each their own. It's cute even if it's small."

Song Wanwan: ? ? ? ?
[Help! I'm laughing so hard at Jiang Nanxi on this variety show! I think Shen Lan is about to explode with anger!]

[Hahahaha, I've learned something! This is how you should deal with a cheating scumbag!]

Song Wanwan didn't quite understand what Jiang Nanxi was saying, but she vaguely sensed that something was wrong because she noticed that Shen Lan's expression was getting increasingly grim.

"Jiang Nanxi!"

Enraged, Shen Lan smashed the vase beside her. "If you keep spouting nonsense, believe me, I'll tear your mouth apart!"

Jiang Nanxi quickly pulled Li Chu away and ran, "Chu Chu, run! These wild dogs that have their weaknesses exposed are very aggressive!"

Shen Lan's angry roar rang out again, "This isn't my weakness, this is absolutely not true! Can you please stop spreading rumors about me!"

Jiang Nanxi paused in her running steps, turned around and asked him, "Then do you dare to take off your pants to prove it?"

Shen Lan: ? ? ?
Everyone else: !!!
The director, rubbing his forehead, came out to stop the farce. "Stop arguing and get to the tasks. There are six tasks today, each with different levels of difficulty and points. Those who arrive first can choose the easier tasks that offer more points!"

Seeing Shen Lan trembling with anger, Jiang Nanxi ignored him and pulled Li Chu to find the staff to choose a task.

1. Helping to hoe the ground earns 20 points.
2. Help with rice planting (20 points)
3. Help feed the pigs (30 points)
4. Help sell vegetables (30 points)
5. Help find the dog (80 points)
6. Help with the funeral: 100 points
The tasks that award more points are for helping find the dog and helping with the funeral, as these two tasks are the most difficult.

The quest to help find the dog involves a villager's dog running away into a nearby deep forest. To find the dog, you have to go into the forest.

The forest on that mountain connects to other mountains, so even if you can't find a dog, you're very likely to encounter wild animals, poisonous insects, or snakes on the mountain.

The highest-scoring event, "Helping with Funerals," involves a family where someone has died, but because the deceased is somewhat strange, no one in the village is willing to help with the funeral, not even anyone to help carry the coffin.

As the weather grew hotter and the corpse began to decompose, the villagers sought help from the program crew, who then set it up as a task.

After all, funerals involve dealing with the dead, and the coffin of the deceased was somewhat unusual, so this task earns a lot of points.

After reading all the task descriptions, Jiang Nanxi said, "I'll choose tasks 5 and 6, which have the highest points!"

"I choose mission 5."

At the same time, a voice came from the side.

Jiang Nanxi turned her head and saw that familiar, handsome, and refined face.

Liu Qingyan was wearing a casual black windbreaker. With his tall and slender figure, he was a perfect clothes hanger. He was a sight to behold wherever he stood.

He glanced at her indifferently.

Although his gaze was devoid of any emotion, appearing as if he were looking at a stranger, Jiang Nanxi inexplicably felt a tightness in her chest.

"Fine, fine, I'll choose missions 3 and 6 then. Let's go do the missions!"

Jiang Nanxi grabbed Li Chu and left quickly, as if some raging flood or beast was chasing her.

Liu Qingyan watched her departing figure, his long, narrow, and cold phoenix eyes narrowing slightly. After a long while, he finally looked away and continued selecting tasks.

Jiang Nanxi plans to do task 6 first.

On the way there, Li Chu timidly clung to Jiang Nanxi's arm and said, "Nanxi, do we really have to do this mission? I feel like this mission is a little scary."

I just asked around, and the other villagers refused to help with the funeral because they couldn't lift the coffin. They all said the corpse had turned into a zombie, and whoever helped with the funeral would suffer bad luck! "So what if it turned into a zombie?"

Jiang Nanxi comforted her, saying, "Everyone dies eventually. The essence of humanity is to prepare a corpse. When he dies, he has successfully become a dish."

What is a zombie apocalypse? It's like you steamed a plate of crabs, and one of them, not quite dead, pinched you with its claw just as you were about to eat it. Should you be scared? Of course not, you just need to put the crab back in the pot and steam it again.

Is Jiang Nanxi really mentally sound? Has she gone mad from Shen Lan's infidelity and started talking nonsense?

"Zombie resurrection isn't as simple as you say. A dead person's coffin is very heavy and can't be lifted; that could cause serious problems. It's better to find a professional to perform an exorcism!"

Li Chu felt that what she said made a lot of sense.

But don't know why.

But something still felt off.

But since Jiang Nanxi had already gone into the villager's house, Li Chu didn't think much of it and followed her in.

The villager seeking help was an elderly man, and his wife was also there. The two of them were sitting next to the coffin, wiping away tears. The deceased was their son.

"What sins have we committed? Our son died when he was only in his thirties, and no one is willing to come and help with the funeral!"

"Sigh, the coffin is so heavy, even four grown men couldn't lift it. No wonder they didn't dare to come and help. Does our son still not want to leave?"

As soon as Jiang Nanxi walked in, she said, "Come on, come on, the two of us will help carry the coffin, and the four of us will take him to the cemetery together."

The old man looked up at Jiang Nanxi and Li Chu, frowned and said, "You're the people the production team sent to help? Why are you two young girls?"

"Four strong men in the village couldn't even lift my son's coffin, and you two young girls think you can? You'd better go back and have the production team find me some strong men!"

Jiang Nanxi walked to the coffin, squatted down, hugged one side of the coffin, and lifted it up to one side. "Isn't this easy to lift? It's not heavy at all."

The old man and his wife stared wide-eyed at Jiang Nanxi in disbelief.

"How...how could you lift it up!"

Jiang Nanxi glanced at the sky and noticed that the sun was rising higher and higher, almost noon.

"It's almost noon, and the midday sun is too strong; it's not good for the body to be carried out during a funeral procession. You all need to come quickly and help us get the coffin to the cemetery!"

"coming!"

The old man quickly grabbed a wooden stick and a rope.

They tied the ropes to the coffin, hung the ropes on wooden poles, and then the four of them could carry the coffin out on the poles.

As soon as the coffin was carried out, everyone else in the village noticed and stood at a distance discussing it.

"How come Old Li's coffin can be lifted now? Weren't we unable to lift it at all before?"

"These two young girls are incredibly bold. How dare they help Old Li's family carry a coffin? I'm telling you, there's definitely something wrong with his son's body."

"Yes, yes, the older generation always says that if there's something else in the coffin, it can't be lifted. There must be something dirty in this coffin!"

When they saw the coffin being carried over, the villagers all kept their distance and dared not approach them.

Just as everyone was wondering how the coffin was lifted, Li Chu suddenly screamed.

"what!"

Then, with a loud bang, the ropes binding the coffin snapped, and the coffin crashed to the ground, leaving a dent in the concrete.

(End of this chapter)