Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Collapse.

Collapse!

I can no longer suppress the feelings in my heart, and I can no longer easily ignore the overflowing emotions within me.

Just like a dam that has been filled to its limit, even the toughest design is now riddled with cracks, and you can see traces of water seeping through the gaps.

It felt as if someone had pierced through his chest, grabbed his heart, but instead of crushing it, they were kneading it as if playing with it at will. He could even feel the person's cold fingertips rubbing against his heart.

It is not a clear, immediate pain, but rather like a sharp knife cutting directly into the skin, tearing the delicate skin into distinct layers of rose petals.

It's a dull ache originating from the depths of my heart, like a dull knife slowly cutting into my heart.

I'm numb, I'm broken.

The girl had experienced too much, to the point that she was no longer as sensitive to emotions. She could no longer clearly feel any detail of her own emotions as she used to, nor could she clearly feel that excruciating pain.

This does not mean that one can accept the pain calmly or easily bear the suffering in one's heart.

——Quite the opposite.

Compared to a straightforward end, everyone is more afraid and less able to bear the slow, gradual wear and tear, the bit-by-bit cutting, as if words are veiled, blurry yet strangely clear.

You can feel the pain coming on, but it's like a relentless, relentless saw, not even giving you time to adjust, wearing down your heart.

"what……"

"No matter how much time has passed."

"I must defeat the Honkai!"

"You must defeat the Honkai that is hurting you."

……

Just like the hero who would later save the world, the one who had not yet succeeded in saving the world ultimately witnessed the coming of the end of humanity with his own life.

Alicia made a vow to Jiangcheng, to Vilvi, and to the two people who were forced to separate and even forget each other because of her.

No matter how long this battle lasts, she will do everything she can to fight against the Honkai.

To fight against...

That shameless 'collapse'.

If it weren't for the 'collapse', this beautiful world, and the wonderful people in this beautiful world, should be able to continue living their wonderful lives.

They shouldn't have to suffer so much, and they shouldn't have to go through such unpleasant disasters, whether they live or die.

……

—People's joys and sorrows are not the same.

The girl's inner world was in turmoil, but the boy looking down from the cliff could only see the ripples on the sea surface. No matter how much whirlpool rose from the seabed, he could not know anything about it.

At most, when the waves crashed against the cliffs after countless rolling waves, the splashing seawater touched the soles of our feet, giving us a bit of coolness before we belatedly realized that there seemed to have been small waves.

Out of trust, out of emotion.

Based on this unwavering belief.

Based on this absolute belief.

He was willing to believe that the flawless girl in front of him was still the same as he remembered, and he was willing to trust that Alicia would never lie to him.

No.

It's no longer a simple matter of being willing to believe.

There is absolutely no possibility that Alicia would lie.

He simply did not believe that the girl in front of him would lie.

Even if someone points this out, even if someone points out the falsehood in the words, the boy's first thought will only be that someone is deliberately trying to sow discord.

Just like the words used to question the girl.

'actually……'

You never gave me a chance to understand you.

He truly didn't understand the girl in front of him, and now that he had lost the ability to express his emotions, he could only trust his inner feelings and the image of her from his memories.

I never had the chance to understand it before.

Now there's even less chance to understand.

The boy would only believe that the girl's resentment towards the collapse was due to his distorted memories and the emotions that had been manipulated like a rag doll.

"So, as everyone has said, this love in our hearts is the reason why we tolerate each other."

"This problem has never been your fault. Don't always take the blame for other people's mistakes. You're not some masochistic pervert."

"The Honkai has distorted my emotions and my memories, making it impossible for me to even accurately feel love. This is the damage caused by the Honkai."

Jiang Cheng gently placed his hand on the back of the girl's hand. After a brief pause, his smile turned into a serious and solemn expression, just like the vow he had made.

"No matter what, the person named Jiangcheng will follow you."

"We've never been apart, have we?"

……

You are unaware of the truth behind your loss of love.

You are unaware of the truth behind your amnesia.

[You have almost no memories left; those initial words you uttered rebuking Alicia were a result of all your anger being exhausted.]

[What you don't know is that Alicia's anger and disgust towards the Honkai is essentially just a form of self-loathing. She's afraid to mention it directly to you, and unable to suppress her feelings, so she chose to change her name to the broader concept of Honkai.]

[As a filthy Herrscher, after destroying your happiness time and time again, you still have the shamelessness to utter deceitful words.]

[They even abolished everything the girl had done, and buried all the wrongdoings they had committed, turning them into falsehoods and delusions.]

[You know none of this. Even though the girl is right next to you, once your emotions are suppressed and completely shut down, it's impossible for you to truly empathize with her.]

[You simply sensed the depth of Alicia's feelings, and after hearing her words, you easily perceived her awareness. Therefore, you presumptuously concluded that the girl's anger and resentment stemmed from your experiences and your losses.]

Even now, it still feels like a dream.

The girl who should have been lively and cheerful, searching for paradise in my memories, has become like this in this lost memory.

To receive such profound love, to be treated with such wholehearted devotion by a young girl—what else is there to say?

Let's hug...

Let's hug.

Let's hug!

[You just need to hold this girl tightly, because her emotions have undergone many huge shifts due to your situation. She feels guilty, inferior, and painful, wanting to atone for her sins, while also feeling angry at the breakdown of her world.]

You don't know if Alicia will experience such a huge emotional upheaval because of your situation, but at least you can see that your concern will cause her delicate heart to constantly teeter on a tightrope.

As her lover, you should be understanding and make her realize that this is not something she has to face alone, or something she can only face alone.

90. Jiang Cheng: Were we originally lovers who were together?

Even the Honkai could only implant Yanzao's memories in a false and ingenious way, making you resent the world and feel dissatisfied with it.

What reason do you have to say to this flawless girl before you, who carries emotions as heavy as a mountain?

The person named Jiang Cheng will always follow behind her. You are no longer the ordinary person with only mortal talents.

At least in this respect, the girl successfully moved the time bomb further back.

"Don't you really have any other questions?"

Jiang Cheng tilted his head, his short, fine hair almost completely obscuring his eyes, and a clear look of confusion appeared in his dark pupils.

Why ask?

"Is there anything you want to ask?"

"Aren't we lovers who have been together for decades?"

"I can indeed find a girl in my memory who had such deep feelings for me, but she is very vague and I can only vaguely see a few shadows."

"I was wondering who to associate this name with, like Vervière, like Mebius, or something else. But now it seems I've been forced to forget the original you."

"Even though it wasn't my fault, and even though it could be considered your fault, I still need to apologize. I'm sorry... for leaving you without permission."

……

--Apologize.

The boy is apologizing.

It was as if the two had made a pact: one was apologizing, and the other was repenting.

There was no mockery or sarcasm whatsoever; those dark pupils held only a seriousness that, even with a hint of coldness, could still be seen in the distant light of the starry sky.

It wasn't until just now, until the girl kept emphasizing her mistakes, that the boy suddenly realized the mistakes he had made that needed to be forgiven.

—Breaking a promise.

He broke the promise he made to the girl in his memory to never be separated from her in this lifetime.

—Leaving without permission.

He left that girl's side without permission, entered the afterlife without permission, and burdened Alicia with regrets she shouldn't have had to bear, even requiring that innocent girl to perform the act of resurrection.

Reviving her lover was something Alicia was definitely not capable of doing; it was more like a task that would be left to a blue-haired hydrogen man or a blond priest, and was instead assigned to the fairies of the paradise.

This extremely heavy emotion, almost to the point of being twisted, is completely unimaginable and incomprehensible to appear in a young girl.

This fairy, who is searching for paradise and a haven, should embark on a joyful and lively journey, experiencing the beauty of humanity and witnessing the happiness of the world.

Those pink eyes should not reflect guilt, inferiority, or self-blame; they should reflect the vivacity and pride of a young girl.

As the first Herrscher, the first Herrscher to possess humanity, she fought against the Honkai warriors and killed the Herrschers. She was also a girl who saw paradise in a fairy tale and decided to find it herself.