Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

Jiang Cheng let out a soft breath, clasped his hands together and crossed them, resting them on his thighs, quietly watching everything before him.

Having already experienced a tremendous tragedy, his dark eyes were clearer than anyone else's about what was to come.

Everything from the past has been revealed.

Everything headed towards the most desperate and irreversible end.

Is this the drama of fate?

No one did anything wrong, and everyone was doing what they thought was right, but in the end, all that came together was chaos.

Alicia's will to maintain all of this and her determination to atone for her sins are not wrong, and her use of some despicable means is not incomprehensible.

It's not something that's completely incomprehensible.

After two long years, Jiang Cheng's anger, which he initially felt when he was deceived, has gradually been drained away along with that tenderness. No matter how intense the emotion, it will dissipate with time.

Once all the strange looks and inappropriate filters were removed, Alicia's behavior became understandable.

Even if we ignore the love, the possessiveness, and the belated sense of atonement that only comes to mind after everything is over.

If I were truly resurrected in my complete form, I would likely continue to fall into a deep, incurable depression because of what happened to Velvi.

Alicia arrived far too late, missing too much of life and too much of the time, to the point that even the emotions she poured into making the weapon became blurred at the very last moment, leaving only empty imagination.

Excessively ethereal and arrogant, they actually regarded the fairies who wanted to become human, and who had truly become human, as gods.

Both mentally and physically, I have reached my limit, and the emptiness I feel is becoming more and more obvious and expanding as each day deepens.

Losing someone who has been a constant companion throughout life, someone you've never been apart from, is like being left with an eternal dampness after a sudden downpour.

Every day and night spent alone, I feel the emptiness of a bed where no girl is left, and the sorrow that surges endlessly in my heart.

The dampness wouldn't last long, because the downpour was so heavy that it was enough to make one sick, enough to cause a fever, enough to lead to an incurable death, and even to drench one's spirit, plunging one into an endless sea.

When that time comes, even if Alicia arrives, even if the girl pours out all her love, she will not be able to fill the already broken heart.

Time is enough to erode most feelings and push sadness to its climax. It acts like a detector, gradually eroding false and weak feelings and stripping away all falsehood.

Perhaps occasionally a final core can remain, as a vague outline, but all of this is ultimately achieved at the cost of a clear impression.

Sincere emotions, however, will only transform into rare ores and indestructible metals over time, causing their priceless value to continuously rise.

Before his resurrection, he and Alicia remained close friends, at most reaching the highest level of being family. He would watch her move forward with expectation and blessings, but he would not chase after her with all his might to reach her side.

This emotion will eventually become blurred over time, leaving only the deepest part, with the core still retaining a vague outline.

Vilvi... his relationship with her might have been hesitant for a long time, but it was precisely when she stepped into the abyss for his sake that it reached its full potential.

At that time, because of his resurrection, he might even try to explore this ability and attempt to resurrect the dead.

The life that can be repeated through the simulator's revival rounds ultimately leads to a painful death for everyone.

Although it may seem like it doesn't make much sense, everything still ended up in the worst possible way.

Because of probability, because of a slight possibility.

Just as there is a possibility of a second Honkai impact on the main base of the Firemoth, tragedy never strikes suddenly after preparation.

Tragedy is called tragedy precisely because it always takes away everything that people cherish in a sudden and unexpected way.

Now we return to the ruins of the Firemoth...

This can be considered as uncovering the truth.

Investigating everything that I had previously neglected because of a single sentence, I wondered when that girl had realized all of this, had already prepared a backup plan, and had already decided to make the same kind of resolve as before.

Although the act of learning the truth essentially reopens a wound that has already healed, even if it was caused by a lie, it is no longer exposed to the air as before, and the wound that is constantly being stung is torn open again.

Even mediocre sewing skills and rough needlework can at least turn the excruciating pain that can occur anytime and anywhere into a dull ache that is triggered only at certain times.

As long as the lie is well-intentioned, and relatively well-intentioned, listening to a lie occasionally is never entirely unacceptable.

No one is immune to lies, not even Wilvi.

—All of this already makes me very satisfied.

Please forget about me.

Now the wound has been torn open again, even more severely than the previous breach, with greater force, tearing away previously intact areas and exposing bloody, unprotected wounds.

Vilvi's Diary.

Everything recorded in those delicate brushstrokes.

……

what……

Abnormal people often keep diaries to record everything about themselves. In a sense, this is also a way to show that they are not lonely, to deceive their own hearts, and to share their stories with themselves.

I never expected it to be sealed there, and even the Spiral Workshop's defenses were changed to temporary emergency measures designed for sealing items.

She wanted to seal away her diary forever, along with everything that had happened in the Spiral Workshop.

Vervi... should I say that it was just as I expected?

It seems that the reason they don't want me to dig any deeper is not only because they don't want me to see my ugly side, but also because they want to bury the past.

that's true……

I should have thought of it earlier.

It's perfectly normal not to want your partner to see your worst side, but given Wilvi's personality, she wouldn't say it without agonizing over it for a very long time.

Even if she prepared her last words, she would definitely overthink and worry that her words might make people think she was hiding some secret.

Did she say these words and leave such a last message because she had a guilty conscience and therefore refused to let him see her one last time?

Vilvi would definitely think that way, and even if she could finally say "please don't investigate any further," she would definitely stammer and add something like "if you really want to, that's fine too."

That's just the kind of person she is. No matter how much time has passed, no matter how much she tries to provide a sense of security, in the end she still hesitates and struggles like a silly dog.

Just like in a previous civilization where they had no part in it, because they couldn't find a personality for the time being, they cried out to vent the fear caused by loneliness.

Even though they have all become powerful heroes, their nature has never changed, and they have never made any progress because of the maturity of their talents.

But in the end, even the dumbest dog will risk everything for something called love.

Even life itself.

Even love itself.

……

Jiang Cheng let out a deep breath, his dark blue eyes gently closing. After seven or eight heartbeats, he opened them again, revealing a pair of deep, moist eyes that had been awakened by sorrow and drawn into the sudden storm.

Even though she had already accepted all of this in her heart, she pretended it didn't exist and kept it from herself because she didn't want to cause further trauma.

They clearly knew everything about Vilvie long ago, and with so much time having passed, they should have realized long ago what that girl might do.

Even though it was a long-gone downpour, the slight dampness on my clothes had long since been dried by the oncoming wind.

Even things that were expected can cause sadness for a very long time.

Why not cherish someone who behaves so easily?

……

[My fingers turned page after page of the diary. At first, I only used a few dozen pages to record the past, but after meeting you, I wrote down everything almost every day, using delicate strokes to depict the excitement in my heart.]

Even if you just greeted her in the morning—something utterly ordinary—the girl would still write a long passage expressing her feelings.

[Simple daily life, in this brilliantly written description, is imbued with a grander scope than even the most magnificent heroic epics.]

[At least you can imagine how, after a casual greeting or compliment from you, the girl will roll around in bed like a maggot.]

[On that face whose exact features are unknown, there must be a smile of joy, a smile that comes from being affirmed by others, in stark contrast to the gloom and inferiority complex.]

Perhaps she was truly too lonely, so lonely that even a simple "Are you there?" followed by a few minutes of no reply could make her doubt herself, worry about whether she had done something wrong, and begin to question herself.

[I've been reviewing every detail of our conversation, word by word, since yesterday, wondering if my response was too late or if it wasn't good enough.]

[Although this kind of research wasn't unusual for that girl—she would hold her communicator almost every night, watching your conversation with her over and over again until she fell asleep.]

[According to the description of that unknown girl, it's about needing to provide material for your dreams. If you keep looking at these things before going to sleep, you're guaranteed to dream about related things while you're asleep.]

Even if that doesn't work, you can give yourself space during the little daydreams before falling asleep; imagine how wonderful it would be to be praised in person.

This kind of behavior would normally be described as "privately steamed goose hearts."

You don't know how the girl wrote her diary before; perhaps she described her inferiority complex, hesitation, and how terrible her day was.

All you know is that ever since the day you met at the birthday party, the girl's diary has been almost entirely filled with descriptions of you.

The only thing that could possibly salvage even a sliver of leeway in this text that so lavishly describes you is your dissatisfaction with Alicia.

[Because of what you've been through, and even as time goes on, it becomes increasingly unbearable and intolerable to you for what you've experienced.]

[The person who couldn't accept that a simple "good morning" would make her so happy she'd toss and turn in bed, the person who was practically her only light and sunshine, was, in Alicia's eyes, a weed even less worthy of comparison to a passerby on the street.]

Even a timid and insecure girl could no longer accept all of this.

……

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

There are pictures here, which can be viewed after the updated version

117. I am not worthy, but does Alicia deserve it?

Today marks the third month of spying on Jiang Cheng. I have learned everything about the relationship between Alicia and Jiang Cheng. They should have been living a wonderful, dreamlike life, completely different from what a shady guy like me should be doing.

For some reason, it seems like there's nothing to envy about kind people, and their lives aren't all that great.