Love's Gone

The person who called me was Wang Heng.

I don't know whether it was a cold or a severe carnival that hurt his throat. Wang Heng's voice was hoarse: "Liu duo'an, you haven't slept yet?"

With my hands supporting my aching head, I said, "not yet. Did I send your email? "

"Yes, I didn't read it. I thought it was too troublesome to send e-mail, so I called you directly."

Wang Heng spoke very quickly: "why, what do you mean by sending that email? Is childe Zhou missing? "

Powerless, I tried my best to simplify and elaborate: "it's my fault. I went to see him the other day. He was exposed. He was very excited. The next day, the man disappeared from the hospital. He called his grandfather before he disappeared and said nothing. Now, his grandfather has also left Shenzhen. Now I have no clue about Zhou Wei. I hope to see if you have it. I want to ask him if he has contacted you. "

"No."

Wang Heng answered quickly, and his voice was even louder: "childe Zhou didn't know what it was. He didn't look for me at all. It's obvious that he didn't treat me as a friend. It's very annoying. But don't worry about Liu Duoan. He has a wide range of faces. He has a lot of places to go. He's not recovering from illness. When he's cured, he won't have to look for you. He'll certainly be able to come to you by himself. "

I was very disappointed. I didn't look too utilitarian. I was a little quiet: "OK, I'll ask you. Otherwise, if you are busy, I won't bother you. "

Wang Heng quickly answered me again: "wait, Liu duo'an, what's the point of hanging up without saying a word. I've made all these calls. Why didn't you ask me where I went for further study? "

There was really no spare thought to joke. I was led by Wang Heng by the nose: "where the hell are you?"

"I'm in Canada, just like your sister Gao Leng, in romantic Toronto. I made an appointment with her the other day. "

I don't know if he was bored in a foreign country. Wang Heng urgently needed someone to accompany him. As soon as he opened his chatterbox, he couldn't stop: "ah, that chick has disappeared for a while and has become beautiful again. Unfortunately, she is too cold and you don't let me go, so I can only make friends with her. How about Liu Duoan? Would you like to take a walk to Toronto sometime? Liu Duohui is familiar with her. She can be the host and entertain us. "

Of course, I still pay attention to Liu Duohui and reserve a place as a close relative for her in the bottom of my heart, but my top priority is to focus more attention on determining Zhou Weian's good level. I have patience: "I'm not free for the time being. Otherwise, you are busy. I won't bother you. "

"Don't bother."

Wang Heng didn't give me the chance to cut off the call at all. Wang Heng smiled: "Mr. Zhou left without saying goodbye. You must be unhappy, Liu duo'an. At least I have such a thick friendship with Mr. Zhou. I have to help him make you happy and solve your problems for you. Don't think about hanging up. Let's talk again. Wow, I'll talk with you when I'm free. "

Being so forced by him, I had no choice but to say frankly: "Wang Heng, I'm sorry. I'm in a mess now. I'm really not in the mood to chat. I thank you for giving me feedback so quickly. I want to trouble you. If Zhou Wei contacts you later, please get as much information from him as possible. If I don't see him well with my own eyes, I can't get through it. Please. "

After being quiet for almost two minutes, Wang Heng lowered his voice: "I understand. I remember what you said. He contacted me and I'll tell you right away. You don't want to talk, that's it. "

Hung up the phone, I was in a daze for a moment and then went back to bed. I didn't sleep all night.

Early in the morning, I gave up my struggle and got up from bed. Holding the time, I called Deng Junying. She happened to be with Luo Zhizhong. They told me that Zhou Wei didn't contact them either.

Starting from Zhou Wei's closest friends, I couldn't find effective information. I didn't hold any hope, but I was like a person about to drown. Seizing a life-saving straw was like a treasure. I got the contact list from Liu Gang. I began to call his classmates and friends in turn in the interval of work, Then I rebuild my confidence in one disappointment after another and usher in the next destruction.

This is the first time I feel that the world is big, and I have nothing left.

Originally, Liu Gang suggested that I look for a needle in a haystack to find a person. The success rate is absolutely zero. I might as well make the whole thing bigger. I can make use of the high-speed transmission characteristics of the media to stir up the search for Zhou Wei, so that I can get news from all directions.

I was excited, but in the end I refused.

I've made a mistake once. I can't make a mistake again and again.

How can I let my own selfish desires dominate a person with strong self-esteem like Zhou Wei and push him to the cusp of public opinion.

What's more, what he needs now is isolated peace. Only in this way can he get the peace of the years.

From helpless to disappointed, from disappointed to powerless, and then from powerless to enter the maze of being unable to save myself, I can't completely let wanmeng go. I can only take advantage of the gap between busy business trips to start running to mental hospitals everywhere.

However, I still harvest an empty confusion every time.

In the twinkling of an eye, winter is coming.

On that day, I went out wrapped in a thick cotton padded jacket. I first had a special breakfast in the alley in front of the door of the community for a week. Then I drove back to wanmeng in silence and completely threw myself into those complex summary data. After reviewing all the thick piles of documents on the desktop, I stood up and stood by the window, To see the sparse figures on the road and the trees trembling in the north wind, my heart began to be filled with disappointment. I stood for an hour.

When I got back to my desk, I used to draw off my mobile phone screen to see the time. Suddenly, I found a new message from my wechat.

I clicked. The person who sent me the message was Liu Duohui. She made a smiling expression.

In fact, Liu Duohui deleted me before. Later, I sent an email to Wang Heng asking about Zhou Wei. Not long after, Liu Duohui added me back, but she didn't talk to me. I didn't know how to break the ice with her, so I put it on hold.

My mood, of course, is still stuck in the trough, but I still replied to Liu Duohui with a smile.

I just sent it. Within ten seconds, Liu Duohui suddenly sent a picture. The network was not very good on rainy days. The picture turned black for a long time before it slowly floated in front of me. I only looked at it, and tears ran down wantonly.

The person in this picture is clearly Zhou Wei!

Dressed in clean white shorts and shirt, he stood quietly in front of an unknown tree. His hands were close to his chest, holding a skin and looking at something like an album. He looked at the front with indifferent and lonely eyes.

He is thinner than when I saw him last time. His original full outline has been thinned and sharpened. The weakness emanating from the inside almost made me carry my breath with pain.

My hands trembled. I tried my best to type, but I made a mistake. Finally, I simply asked Liu Duohui, "what's your phone number?"

After sending, I seemed to use all my strength and hold the mobile phone heavily. I was afraid that if I was a little careless, I would miss Zhou Wei again.

Even if I no longer have the right to hug and kiss him, I also want to look at him from a distance. At least I have to see him well with my own eyes, so that I can escape from the mud pit I dug for myself.

Well, that's it.

It was only a few minutes, but it seemed that I had been suffering for a whole century, and my mobile phone finally rang.

After the call with Liu Duohui, I went to apply for a passport and visa and booked a ticket. I just cleaned up a few sets of clothes and set foot on a foreign land with a gray head and face.

In Ottawa, Canada, I met Liu Duohui and Wang Heng on the grass in front of the parliament building.

Liu Duohui didn't talk much, but Wang Heng said like pouring beans: "Liu Duoan, this has to start a few months ago. Didn't you ask me about childe Zhou that time? I asked Liu Duohui for dinner later. I said casually that she was very interested and began to mobilize her friends to find it. Don't say, this little girl has a wide social circle. She is much better than me. She let me witness a miracle. She was stunned and pulled childe Zhou out. "

With that, Wang Heng winked at Liu Duohui like a treasure: "sister Huihui, I've finished praising you. See if you have anything else to add."

"There are no miracles."

Liu Duohui took the lead. She said lightly: "I have also lived in a mental hospital. My circle of patients is very wide, just like the butterfly effect. It's only a matter of time to find someone who has the same experience as me."

Glancing at me, Liu Duohui spoke more slowly: "you should be mentally prepared, Zhou Wei. You may not recognize you."

I was stunned again and again. I couldn't help hesitating: "what do you say?"

Still speaking at a slow speed, Liu Duohui said faintly: "in schizophrenia, some patients have a process of self doubt and self giving up. They saw each other in the division and slowly lost their original memory. Some people only remember what happened in a certain period of time, and some patients prefer the memory before the pain. I take myself as an example. When I was most serious, I often forgot that I had a different fate. I only remember those things before I got sick. The process of forgetting myself lasted about two years. "

Glancing at me, Liu Duohui coughed twice: "but some people can still find themselves. For example, I was confused for hundreds of days and nights. Suddenly one day, I got up and felt refreshed. All those closed memories came back. Later, I was cured and discharged from the hospital, and I lived safely until now. Of course, you can have some hope, but don't hold too much hope. After all, some people can get out of the mire by themselves, and others can muddle through the bad news all their life. But there are exceptions to everything. Let's look at personal luck. "

Seeing that Liu Duohui frankly shared some of her experiences that I couldn't touch before, I felt sad and distressed, and was ignited by her words. However, my poor vocabulary has made me unable to fully express my mood at the moment. I can only make a concise um sound as a response.

Liu Duohui still looked calm. She said, "well, the news my friend helped find out is that Zhou Wei refused to visit during his admission. The hospital where he is in is pretty good. The medical staff will try their best to give patients equality and respect. Naturally, we can't visit Zhou Wei openly. I happen to have a patient who is recuperating there. I will bring you in in the name of visiting that patient, and then we will act separately. But the time limit for visiting is very strict. You only have 60 minutes. If you can't see Zhou Wei this time, you'll have to wait three months, okay? "

"Yes."

After stopping, I added a dry sentence: "thank you."

"It's useful to say thank you. So many restaurants don't have to wait for closure."

Liu Duohui quickened her pace: "since you are grateful to me, it's better to think about where you invite me to have a big meal when you're done."

I didn't know what to do before I found a place to put it. I couldn't help answering, "I'm not familiar here. We'll go wherever you want."

No longer talking, Liu Duohui walked faster.

Wang Heng had a car, while Liu Duohui showed him the way, so they sat in the front. I sat alone in the back. I rolled down the window and the exotic scenery hit my eyes, but I couldn't indulge in these novelty. My mind was like a full grape. It seemed that if I touched it gently, I could splash rain.

Finally, the car stopped.

Following Liu Duohui, I listened quietly to her negotiate with the staff at the gate of the hospital in fairly fluent English. She signed something behind her, and then we could finally go inside.

Through a large dense pine forest, Liu Duohui stopped. She pointed to a newer looking building in front of her and said, "Zhou Wei's accommodation is over there. According to the information I know, he often moves by the lake. Liu Duoan, go there and get lucky. Remember, you only have one hour, and remember, don't cause a commotion. In an hour, you will meet here on time. "

Looking at Wang Heng again, Liu Duohui said, "you, come with me."

Wang Heng was not happy for a moment: "why, I haven't seen childe Zhou for a long time. I want to see him."

Staring at Wang Heng, Liu Duohui said coolly: "I don't know the way, I can't see."

The expression was fixed for a few seconds. Wang Heng suddenly realized it. He smiled: "get it. Go yourself, Liu duo'an. I'll be the flower escort for sister Hui Hui."

I still don't like to see Wang Heng. Liu Duohui said coldly, "people like you who can't remember half an English word are almost dumb here. What do you protect. Don't talk too much nonsense. Let's go. "

I always feel how subtle Liu Duohui is to Wang Heng. I just can't see what Wang Heng's mentality is. But I don't have the mind to gossip about them for the time being. I waved with them and ran in the direction indicated by Liu Duohui.

Along the way, I met several patients in the same uniform. They waved to me warmly. Their solemn enthusiasm made me hallucinate that they had no problem at all, and the person with the problem was me.

Some walked aimlessly for more than half a circle, and my eyes kept turning around. After many failures, I was somewhat dejected and took back my eyes. I planned to go through that building to the rear, but I turned around. I collided with a person.

I stepped back in a hurry. I was anxious for a moment. I didn't even lift my head. I was busy with my limited and hard English: "iamsorry."

The man I met had a quiet and peaceful voice. He said, "that's all right."

I wanted to look up at him, but my tears first brushed the sense of existence. They rushed and slipped down side by side, wet my arms and back of my hands, cold and cold.